Archive for 2005

More Commonly Known as New Shitsburg

Chick #1: Hoboken just sounds dirty to me.
Chick #2: Why? Because like, “hobos”?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, it’s uplifting. Like, “hobos can!” get their lives together. It’s not called “hobo can’t.” –9th Street PATH station Drunk girl: I can’t believe I have to take this train to Hoboken! This is horrible! Thank God it’s just for tonight, I can’t imagine doing this every day! This is the worst!
Guy: Where in the city do you live?
Drunk girl: I live in Rutherford. –PATH train Overheard by: kt

“That’s Jacks the Ripper, love.”

American girl: So when does Kitty’s plane get in?
British guy: I don’t know…I think 12:30. I’m really nervous about her moving in.
American girl: Why?
British guy: Because you know she is going to expect me to marry her.
American girl: Well, you need to get married. You need to have little Jack the Rippers running around. –2nd Avenue between 51st & 52nd

Never, Ever Smoke Mustelid Hair

Black guy #1: I got all depressed after I lost my hair.
Black guy #2: You what?
Black guy #1: My hair; I got depressed when I lost it.
Black guy #2: I didn’t know you had a ferret!
Black guy #1: Shit yeah, but halfway through I decided to shave it.
Black guy #2: You shaved a fucking ferret? What the hell you do that for, nigga?
Black guy #1: I just hated losing it, so I shaved it.
Black guy #2: Man, I’m fucked up.
Black guy #1: Me too. –Union Square Regal Cinemas men’s room