Archive for 2005

“…Can I get her autograph?”

Guy: The Dead Kennedys are playing tonight. Oh, excuse me: the “Dead Kennedys.”
Girl: Right.
Guy: Like the Dead Kennedys are even the Dead Kennedys without Jello Biafra. It’s like the Misfits without Danzig.
Girl: My sister’s boyfriend knows their drummer.
Guy: You have a sister? –L train

Tastes Not-So-Great, More or Less Filling

Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers. –Bodega, 12th & B

This “Winner” Sure Got Some Prize

Little boy: No, I want them both! Mommy, you’re a loser!
Mommy: Are you calling Mommy a loser? Well, then you’re not getting
anything.
Little boy: No, I’m calling you a winner now! I love you! –Toys “R” Us, Times Square Overheard by: lindsey Lanpher