Archive for 2005

In Cybercafes, Anyone Can Open MS Word and Take Notes…

A scruffy guy is on his cell in an otherwise silent internet cafe. His thoughts: No…it’s not in the heart of the city…it’s like the artery. You remember that postcard of New York I sent you for your birthday? I think you can see my building if you look closely…well you know the best pictures of it are in books, and I love you guys, you’re my family, but I’m not about to spend $15 on one of those books. Yeah…I came up with this great analogy yesterday. I said, “If you know little math problems and little words, you’ll make a little money, but if you know big problems and big words, you get lotsa money!…I know, I know, I think they got it! Yeah, well you know 80% of the people I work with are spanish…its not like that in Spokane…so everything here revolves around them…but you know what? The other day one of the girls came up to me and said, “Everyone thinks you’re such a nice guy”. That was so nice; I wasn’t even trying…I didn’t know they thought that…see I apply all the stuff you taught me and incorporate it into my lifestyle. –Internet cafe, E. 33rd between 5th and Madison

Overheard at The Gates II

Informed yuppie: …yeah, no city money was wasted, it was all self financed. –The Gates Grandpa: You’re not listening to me!
Grandma: Well, if I listened to you what would you ever have to yell about? –The Gates Overheard by: Martha Gelnaw Little boy: Where are the rides? Mommy, I want to go on the rides! –The Gates

Delivering Pizzas Doesn’t Make You a Chef

Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Have you heard of this play Medea?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Yeah, that’s a good play. Have you heard of Arthur Miller?
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Who?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Arthur Miller. He wrote Death of a Salesman.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: No.
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Oh, he died last week. He was 89.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Wow, that’s terrible. I didn’t even know that and I deliver newspapers. –They Might Be Giants in-store, Border’s, Columbus Circle Overheard by: Monica

Sex and the 6 Train

Girl, 14: I can’t imagine laying next to him in bed. He’d have to bring a GPS device.
Boy, 14: Yeah, how to get from point A to point B. –6 train Lesbian: Whatever, we can break up, I don’t care. You were only good for sex and Scrabble. The sex wasn’t even good and I can play Scrabble online. –6 train Overheard by: Tom V