Archive for 2005

Not All Stories Have a Happy Ending

B&T Guy #1: It’s easy. All you gotta do is give her 20 bucks.
B&T Guy #2: Then she jerks you off after she’s done?
B&T Guy #1: I wish! –Banshee Pub, 74th & 1st Overheard by: Michael Yuppie #1: …yeah, those girls don’t want just 20 bucks.
Yuppie #2: Yep, no such thing as free sex in Vietman. –Maritime Hotel, 9th Ave. Overheard by: Chaser

Lusty Wednesday One-liners

Teen girl: Yo, I heard he fucked a fat girl in Remi and she was so big he couldn’t get his arms around her! –Astoria Dunkin’ Donuts Overheard by: Jack UES chick on cell: …so then he takes me to this party, where there’s all these topless chicks and crap, and I’m like, “Come on! Haven’t I stroked your ego enough?”. –88th and Park Overheard by: ikanread Girl: No, I will not have anal sex with your boyfriend! –Union Square station

Wednesday One-liners; Let’s Make Them “I Do”

Girl on cell: Oh no! I dropped a bunch of papers that I don’t need! –Pace University elevator Overheard by: shawn mac Conductor: The next stop will be…Hell, I don’t even know what it is! –B train Overheard by: Miss Babette Guy: You know, when I was doing those breathing exercises, I realized: I don’t think I’ve been able to breathe out of my left nostril since 1995. –General Store, DUMBO Overheard by: Beth

Wednesday One-liners, IMHO

Homeboy: Monkeys are just humans who don’t give a shit, that’s all I’m sayin’. –Park Pizza, 25th St. and Park Ave. Overheard by: Chadd Derkins Electrician: The Velvet Underground? Yeah, they was good for a few laughs back in the day. –Midtown elevator Overheard by: Michael Dude: I definitely said, “No abortion jokes at dinner.” –86th and 2nd

It’s Wednesday One-liners, Crazy

Too tan woman: It’s the first day in a week that no one has called me a psychopath….yet. –W. 66th between Broadway and Central Park West Guy: I thought when I got up I was going to lose control. Then it went away. –54th between 1st & 2nd Overheard by: Brandy Rowell Big guy: That girl’s a serial killer. She murders men and then leaves panties on their face. –47th Street & 5th Avenue Overheard by: Brian