Archive for 2005

New Yorkers: As Seen on TV

Woman #1: Excuse me, does the N train stop at Central Park?
Woman #2: Lady, go ask a fucking crystal ball, or learn how to read a damn subway map. –Union Square station Overheard by: Craig D A truck driver is parked on the side of the road, honking at what appears to be nothing at all. A female pedestrian shoots him a dirty look. Truck driver: Nobody’s honking at you, you dumb bitch! –Bay Ridge Tourist: Which way is the Empire State Building?
Newspaper vendor: What do I look like, a fuckin’ road map? –outside Grand Central Overheard by: Dork A trendy guy walked out into oncoming traffic, forcing an SUV to slam on the brakes. The driver screamed out of his open window: The hell you think you are, my hood ornament? –40th & 7th

Not All Stories Have a Happy Ending

B&T Guy #1: It’s easy. All you gotta do is give her 20 bucks.
B&T Guy #2: Then she jerks you off after she’s done?
B&T Guy #1: I wish! –Banshee Pub, 74th & 1st Overheard by: Michael Yuppie #1: …yeah, those girls don’t want just 20 bucks.
Yuppie #2: Yep, no such thing as free sex in Vietman. –Maritime Hotel, 9th Ave. Overheard by: Chaser

Lusty Wednesday One-liners

Teen girl: Yo, I heard he fucked a fat girl in Remi and she was so big he couldn’t get his arms around her! –Astoria Dunkin’ Donuts Overheard by: Jack UES chick on cell: …so then he takes me to this party, where there’s all these topless chicks and crap, and I’m like, “Come on! Haven’t I stroked your ego enough?”. –88th and Park Overheard by: ikanread Girl: No, I will not have anal sex with your boyfriend! –Union Square station