Queer on cell: They’re only keeping Schiavo alive so she can see Million Dollar Baby. –8th Avenue and 19th St. Overheard by: J-MO
Fratboy: So my mom asks me the other day, “Do you plan on working 5 days a week, then going on 2 day benders for the rest of your life?”. I was like, “yeah”. What should I be doing, staying home and watching television with her? –LIRR
B&T Guy #1: It’s easy. All you gotta do is give her 20 bucks.
B&T Guy #2: Then she jerks you off after she’s done?
B&T Guy #1: I wish! –Banshee Pub, 74th & 1st Overheard by: Michael Yuppie #1: …yeah, those girls don’t want just 20 bucks.
Yuppie #2: Yep, no such thing as free sex in Vietman. –Maritime Hotel, 9th Ave. Overheard by: Chaser
Girl #1: I have no idea what happened, but when I woke up my bed was full of clam chowder.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Really! –Q train
Teen girl: Yo, I heard he fucked a fat girl in Remi and she was so big he couldn’t get his arms around her! –Astoria Dunkin’ Donuts Overheard by: Jack UES chick on cell: …so then he takes me to this party, where there’s all these topless chicks and crap, and I’m like, “Come on! Haven’t I stroked your ego enough?”. –88th and Park Overheard by: ikanread Girl: No, I will not have anal sex with your boyfriend! –Union Square station
Girl on cell: Oh no! I dropped a bunch of papers that I don’t need! –Pace University elevator Overheard by: shawn mac Conductor: The next stop will be…Hell, I don’t even know what it is! –B train Overheard by: Miss Babette Guy: You know, when I was doing those breathing exercises, I realized: I don’t think I’ve been able to breathe out of my left nostril since 1995. –General Store, DUMBO Overheard by: Beth
Homeboy: Monkeys are just humans who don’t give a shit, that’s all I’m sayin’. –Park Pizza, 25th St. and Park Ave. Overheard by: Chadd Derkins Electrician: The Velvet Underground? Yeah, they was good for a few laughs back in the day. –Midtown elevator Overheard by: Michael Dude: I definitely said, “No abortion jokes at dinner.” –86th and 2nd
Lady: If he could fuck like he makes quesadillas, I’d be a lucky woman. –Astoria deli Overheard by: Stuart Bridgett Guy on cell: True Spanish girls wear heels in a blizzard! –33rd Street & Park Avenue Overheard by: Chris D. Hobo (to Hispanic construction workers): Remember the Alamo! –34th & Madison Avenue
Fat black woman: Hey, watch where you’re going! Say “excuse me” instead of bumping into me like that. Don’t you know how to speak English?
Japanese girl: You need a diet! –Penn station Overheard by: JL
Customer: I see barley, but no beef.
Cafeteria worker: The beef has been melted into it. –MSKCC cafeteria