Archive for 2005

That’s a Dumb Question! It’s Wednesday One-liners

Little girl: Do I have to shave all over my body when I grow up? Where will I have to shave most? Where don’t I have to shave? Tell me, you’re old, you should know. –New York Hall of Science, Flushing Overheard by: Ting NYU Chick: 2G? Does that mean it’s on the ground floor? –11th between Broadway and University Woman: Would it help to keep a couple dead deer lying around to scare the other ones away? –Union Square Greenmarket

Even a Penny for Wednesday One-liners

Hobo: Anybody help me feed my stomach? No? I hope all you get home safe. And don’t burn your house down. And don’t smoke no crack. –6 train Overheard by: P. Von Kant Hobo: I said I was hungry. Hungry. I can’t eat this bird-food shit! Why’d you give me this? –9th St. & 2nd Ave Hobo: Wanna see the real Zoo York? Bend over and I’ll show ya. –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Dan Arcuri

Oh Me So Wednesday One-liners

Musician: See, that’s why I don’t drink. So I can fuck any time. –26th between 6th & Broadway Overheard by: Mike Guy: Where can I go to make it look like I went home last night? –56th & 9th Overheard by: David Ghetto chick: …and it’s not like I’m calling him a transsexual, but he gave oral like a starving lesbian. –58th & 5th Overheard by: Melissa

Let’s Get Out of Here, Wednesday One-liners

Woman: I want to stay inside Disney World. I’m going to see the Bain de Soleil Circus and everything. –50th & 7th Overheard by: O. Pressed Dude on cell: So he’s getting married?…So he’s getting married in Wyoming?…So he’s getting married by Elvis? –Houston & Varick Teen mom: Someday I’m gonna get out of here and have fun. Like go to Gray’s Papaya or something. –Central Park Overheard by: Tyla

Wednesday One-liners for the New German Pope

Preacher: What does God think of your sex life? Are you a winner or are you a chicken dinner? –42nd Street station Overheard by: Brian Lang Teen boy: I must be the Antichrist! Every time I pass by a church it blows up. It’s happened twice already! –30th & 7th Guy: Why? Because I’m lazy, and I’m Jewish! –MacDougal Street

Wednesday One-liners

Lady: Girl, or all the hairs growin’ out of my face, I’d take your wart in a second. –Bally Sports Club, Madison & 43rd Overheard by: Heather Hunter Trendy boy: God, I feel so bad farting next to all these really expensive cars. –Jacob Javits Center Overheard by: Lindsay Dude on cell: …so I got into this fight last night and totally whaled on the dude…totally kicked his ass! His nose was bleeding and everything!….OK, I’ll see ya later. Peace. –Coffee Shop, Union Square West