Archive for 2005

That’s a Dumb Question! It’s Wednesday One-liners

Little girl: Do I have to shave all over my body when I grow up? Where will I have to shave most? Where don’t I have to shave? Tell me, you’re old, you should know. –New York Hall of Science, Flushing Overheard by: Ting NYU Chick: 2G? Does that mean it’s on the ground floor? –11th between Broadway and University Woman: Would it help to keep a couple dead deer lying around to scare the other ones away? –Union Square Greenmarket

Even a Penny for Wednesday One-liners

Hobo: Anybody help me feed my stomach? No? I hope all you get home safe. And don’t burn your house down. And don’t smoke no crack. –6 train Overheard by: P. Von Kant Hobo: I said I was hungry. Hungry. I can’t eat this bird-food shit! Why’d you give me this? –9th St. & 2nd Ave Hobo: Wanna see the real Zoo York? Bend over and I’ll show ya. –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Dan Arcuri

Oh Me So Wednesday One-liners

Musician: See, that’s why I don’t drink. So I can fuck any time. –26th between 6th & Broadway Overheard by: Mike Guy: Where can I go to make it look like I went home last night? –56th & 9th Overheard by: David Ghetto chick: …and it’s not like I’m calling him a transsexual, but he gave oral like a starving lesbian. –58th & 5th Overheard by: Melissa

Let’s Hop on a Bus, Wednesday One-liners

Man on cell: Yo Hamster! Oh, hey Tomato, whats goin’ on? –Bx12 bus Overheard by: Courtney C Girl on cell: I swear it had to be 8 or 9 inches long…yeah I know, I was shocked. It was the biggest damned cockroach I have ever seen…yes, a roach, what did you think I was talking about? –Bx9 bus Overheard by: ogie Bus driver: Next stop 3rd Avenue. We’ll be arriving in a week to 10 days…Anyone want to get off here? That’ll be $50. Send me a check. –M14D bus Overheard by: Sherri

Let’s Get Out of Here, Wednesday One-liners

Woman: I want to stay inside Disney World. I’m going to see the Bain de Soleil Circus and everything. –50th & 7th Overheard by: O. Pressed Dude on cell: So he’s getting married?…So he’s getting married in Wyoming?…So he’s getting married by Elvis? –Houston & Varick Teen mom: Someday I’m gonna get out of here and have fun. Like go to Gray’s Papaya or something. –Central Park Overheard by: Tyla

Wednesday One-liners for the New German Pope

Preacher: What does God think of your sex life? Are you a winner or are you a chicken dinner? –42nd Street station Overheard by: Brian Lang Teen boy: I must be the Antichrist! Every time I pass by a church it blows up. It’s happened twice already! –30th & 7th Guy: Why? Because I’m lazy, and I’m Jewish! –MacDougal Street