JHS kid: Man, your mother’s so ugly, she’s only been married once.
Baby carriage woman on cell: …and then I had to have 7 stitches on my labia…
–19th between 5th & 6th
Girl: So I’m like, “How are you going to call me a bitch in front of my grandma? What the fuck is that, Mom?”
–NYU Brittany Hall elevator
Overheard by: Andrei Alupului
Man: Oh yeah, so her mother was this great shopper. See what she would do is she would find something nice for 10 bucks and she’d cut off all the buttons and then she’d go to the return department…
–H&H Bagels, Broadway & 80th
Overheard by: Sophia
Girl: His mom called me up so drunk at 1 in the morning today, but somehow I really wasn’t that surprised.
Drunk girl: He was always trying to make out with Mom, and I was like, “Jeez, give somebody else a turn…”
–Union Pool, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joe
Chick: So my mother sits me down and goes, “I met these two girls who were former Miss Vermonts.” Anyways, she thought I should be the next Miss Vermont. Something about scholarships to school. And I’m like, well, we don’t even live in Vermont…
Woman on cell: If I had $35 million, Mother, then I would buy a car and drive home!
–13th & 4th