Archive for 2005

It’s Pronounced “Adultery”

Girl #1: So I want to get married but he won’t move out of his neighborhood.
Girl #2: What, does he have like agoraphobia or something?
Girl #1: I think it’s more like that Seinfeld episode.
Girl #2: Seinfeld had agoraphobia? –Staten Island ferry Overheard by: Paola Suarez-Papp

The Mayoral Contest in One Scene

A crazy man is walking around with headphones and a walkman trying to interview people, using the walkman as a microphone. Crazy man: Who loves New York? I love New York! How about you…Who loves New York? He holds the “mic” up to the guy. Guy: Is this for ABC?
Crazy man: Fuck ABC, Fuck NBC, Fuck CBC. This is me. Who loves New York? –31st & 6th Overheard by: P. Mills

It Was Crying So Hard It Was Bleeding

Teen boy: I’m sorry my vagina is so disgusting.
Teen girl: Me too. I’m sorry it doesn’t make you happy.
Teen boy: Me fucking too. It was crying today. Could you hear it?
Teen girl: Yeah, I could see tears falling out of your pants. –Times Square

Wednesday One-liners Are Ass

Man: You know what I love? Farting in supermarkets. –Broadway & 87th Overheard by: alice townes Woman on cell: Went to the club last night, goin’ to the club tonight, tomorrow sit on my ass: D-V-D! –Eldridge & Stanton Queer on cell: I mean, he left bruises and scratches all over my ass! I could barely sit down on the subway this morning! I’m telling you, if something happens to me today, the ER people are gonna think I’ve been beaten. –23rd St between 6th and 7th

Wednesday One-liners Sparkle and Shine

Hipster on cell: Okay. After my nap. Call me from the park once you are covered in glitter and I will come down. –14th & B Hipster chick: I’m totally boycotting the sun this summer. –L train Overheard by: Matt Ferrin Guy on cell: …and I just told him, “I don’t care what you say. As far as I’m concerned, I am the star of a Broadway musical.” –34th & 7th Overheard by: Bridget Unnel