Archive for 2005

Those Meals Aren’t Quite McHalal

Hobo: Help me out, get me something to eat.
Girl: Can I buy you something from the deli?
Hobo: No…I can’t eat anything from there. I’m gonna get a Happy Meal. See, I pray seven times a day. Yeah, we Muslims can’t eat anything from there. Can you spare some change so I can get a Happy Meal?
Girl: No. –Broadway & 92nd Overheard by: Hannah Elka

It’s Pronounced “Adultery”

Girl #1: So I want to get married but he won’t move out of his neighborhood.
Girl #2: What, does he have like agoraphobia or something?
Girl #1: I think it’s more like that Seinfeld episode.
Girl #2: Seinfeld had agoraphobia? –Staten Island ferry Overheard by: Paola Suarez-Papp

The Mayoral Contest in One Scene

A crazy man is walking around with headphones and a walkman trying to interview people, using the walkman as a microphone. Crazy man: Who loves New York? I love New York! How about you…Who loves New York? He holds the “mic” up to the guy. Guy: Is this for ABC?
Crazy man: Fuck ABC, Fuck NBC, Fuck CBC. This is me. Who loves New York? –31st & 6th Overheard by: P. Mills

It Was Crying So Hard It Was Bleeding

Teen boy: I’m sorry my vagina is so disgusting.
Teen girl: Me too. I’m sorry it doesn’t make you happy.
Teen boy: Me fucking too. It was crying today. Could you hear it?
Teen girl: Yeah, I could see tears falling out of your pants. –Times Square