Archive for 2005

If There Were, That Would Be a Great School Trip

Lady: I’m looking for non-leather shoes.
Saleswoman: Why non-leather?
Lady: I’m vegan. I don’t wear any animal products.
Saleswoman: Well, they don’t kill the cows to get the leather.
Lady: Where do you think they get the leather from? Do you think there’s a bunch of skinless cows roaming a farm somewhere? –Forest Hills shoe store Overheard by: MG

His Aberrant Sex Practice is Wednesday One-liners

Guy on cell: Can you imagine having sex with a two year old and a three year old at the same time? –79th & 5th Overheard by: Jackie College chick: So, best case scenario she thinks you’re a lesbian. Worst case scenario, she thinks you’re a child molester. –M16 bus Chick: Oh yeah, ’cause we all know how I like to swap spit. With random people…like the cleaning ladies. –FIT

Always Complaining About Wednesday One-liners

Lady: I don’t like to parallel park…it messes up my hair. –61st & Madison Guy: Seriously, you are being ridiculous. You need to calm the fuck down. You still have 2 more stops and what are your expectations with that outfit? Let me off. –L train Man on cell: I served lemonade for 6 hours! It wasn’t fucking bartending! It sucked! –61st & 3rd Chinese chick: Oh, I don’t watch baseball. I just recently found out what a home run is. I used to think they would, like, run home, and I was like, what the fuck is the point of that? –B6 bus Man on cell: Are you a fucking retard or do you just play one in real life? –Penn Station Girl: I don’t know why I pay for the internet. The only sites I ever use are Friendster, Craigslist and Overheard In New York and I’ll be honest, sometimes they just don’t do it for me. –2 train Punk chick: …hate it when my dirt washes off. It keeps me warm. –St. Mark’s between 1st & A Chick: You’re not the one who had to teach a fucking dance class from 9 to 5. I had to teach dance from 9 to 5. And I have to do it again tomorrow. I don’t wanna fucking dance anymore. I have tendonitis! –12th & 3rd Overheard by: Domi & Rachel