Guy: Hey, lady, you need to slow the fuck down…your dog needs to take a fuckin’ dump…just look at his swollen-ass asshole!
Indian woman on cell: You are a terrible, terrible man. You are a horrible shit of piece.
–60th between Lexington & 3rd
Overheard by: Navyboy
Guy: If she was a dinosaur, she’d be an assaraptus.
Overheard by: shane matthews
Lady on cell: OK, so you know Alisha? She’s Poop’s best friend…yeah, Poop.
–77th & Lexington
Overheard by: marissa
Wife: I’m just saying say, “excuse me.” I ain’t asking you to hold it in or nothing; it’s a natural part of life. I mean, if you need to let it out, let it out. I’m just saying say, “excuse me.” Have some damn manners. We fart, we all fart, but just say, “excuse me.”
Overheard by: Alex Liebman
Guy: I will say this: butts are weird, and fickle. You can put that in your dissertation.
–111th between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: djlindee