Archive for 2005

Wednesday One-liners Went There

Woman: All right, but you’ve really got to stop smoking once you start showing. –14th & 7th Guy: We were going by and her mom said, “Hey Mindy! Jumprope! Want to
pee?”. –Suffolk Street rooftop Teen girl on cell: Things have changed. We’re not even friends anymore; she’s like this expensive tampon-wearing, stuck-up slut. So what if she can afford Tampax Pearl, I’m still better than her! –49th & Broadway Bored woman on cell: Yes baby, that’s the spot, I’m coming. –F train Jewish JHS boy: My older brother keeps calling me a pussy and telling me I have to play sports. He’s such a douche. –S train Overheard by: Jennifer Smith Teenage girl: But I think it’s always a bad sign when you see blood floating in the ocean, whether it’s actually whale menstrual fluid or not. –Macy’s Overheard by: djlindee

The DEA Endorses Wednesday One-liners

Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened. –Columbia University Library Overheard by: Michael Niederman Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine. –11th & B Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug. –45th & 9th Overheard by: teo