Archive for 2005

Some Even Call It “Delicious”

Woman with baby: So I’ve been takin’ these classes, and like they teach you how to draw blood from people and shit, but they have all these funny names for things. Like your skull, they call it the…um…
Woman without baby: Cranium?
Woman with baby: Yeah, the cranium. And they don’t call it “blood”, they call it…cells. –F train Overheard by: Miss N.

Wednesday One-liners Need to Get Cut Off

Chick on cell: That is not true!…No!…I would never do that! Gross! I so did not do that…Did I?…Really?…Oh, well, maybe I was too trashed to remember. –Times Square Arty girl: I may be hung over. I haven’t decided yet. –Metropolitan Bar, Williamsburg Overheard by: ~dana Guy: So I find that when I taste champagne with someone, I have nothing to say. –32nd & 6th Chick: Wait, I really did sleep with that guy? I need to update my
Excel spreadsheet. –Montien, 3rd Avenue Overheard by: djlindee Erica: Welcome to Applebee’s, my name is Erica. Can I get you started with a drink, or a beverage? –Applebee’s, W. 225th Street Overheard by: MissDona

Next Wednesday One-liners

Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy… –Time Warner Center Overheard by: Cole Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines. –22nd between 7th & 8th Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay. –Times Square Overheard by: seth scott barkley Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob? –7th & Grove Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay. –W Hotel bar, Union Square Overheard by: Somebody nowhere Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa. –Bond & Lafayette Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food. –Barrage, West 47th Street Overheard by: Nick Salvato Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah. –Bleecker & Macdougal Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay! –Madison & 52nd

Can I Have Your Autograph, Wednesday One-liners?

Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter. –Music Box theatre, West 45th Street Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich. –C train Overheard by: nicolette Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin. –68th & Columbus Overheard by: Andrew Zar Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday. –Red Hook Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all. –52 & Lexington