Man on cell: Hey, I just got out of work and…wait…dude, are you having sex?…While I’m on the phone with you?…You…you’re having sex with Amy?…What would…you mean you think the fact that it’s Amy makes it all right to pick up the phone?…No! No! That makes it worse! –2 train
Drunk guy #1: So yeah, I’m boning her and she starts to ovulate. I’ve made girls ovulate before but this chick went crazy.
Drunk guy #2: Ew, she got her period while you were doing her? –Astoria
Girl #1: Offer him a chip.
Girl #2: Okay. Would you like a chip?
Hobo: Young lady, are you teasing me? –6 train
Girl, 7: I wish I could go in and play with them. I want to play with the turtles.
Zookeeper woman: They’re not turtles. They’re tortoises.
Girl, 7: Whatever. I want to step on them. –Central Park Zoo
Hobo #1: Do you know what time is it?
Hobo #2: Yeah I know.
Hobo #1: Thanks. –2 train Overheard by: Andrew A
Guy: He’s 31 and already he’s going through a mid-life crisis.
Girl: You’re 30 and you’ve been going through crises after crises after crises.
Guy: But I’m a Jew. –19th & 5th
Chick #1: I want chocolate, but no nuts. What kind of candy bar doesn’t have nuts?
Chick #2: Um…Almond Joy? –Bodega, 44th & 9th Overheard by: Peter Shankman
Guy: Excuse me, do you have any poppy seed bagels?
Bakery lady: What the hell is a popsicle bagel? –C-town, 135th & Broadway
Woman with baby: So I’ve been takin’ these classes, and like they teach you how to draw blood from people and shit, but they have all these funny names for things. Like your skull, they call it the…um…
Woman without baby: Cranium?
Woman with baby: Yeah, the cranium. And they don’t call it “blood”, they call it…cells. –F train Overheard by: Miss N.
Chick on cell: That is not true!…No!…I would never do that! Gross! I so did not do that…Did I?…Really?…Oh, well, maybe I was too trashed to remember.
Arty girl: I may be hung over. I haven’t decided yet.
–Metropolitan Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: ~dana
Guy: So I find that when I taste champagne with someone, I have nothing to say.
–32nd & 6th
Chick: Wait, I really did sleep with that guy? I need to update my
Excel spreadsheet. –Montien, 3rd Avenue Overheard by: djlindee Erica: Welcome to Applebee’s, my name is Erica. Can I get you started with a drink, or a beverage? –Applebee’s, W. 225th Street Overheard by: MissDona