Archive for 2005

Don’t Worry, I Know a Guy Who Can Score Some

Girl #1: Do you have Laughing Cow cheese, you know the little button cheeses?
Cheese counter guy: Sorry, we don’t have that.
Girl #1: Can I find it anywhere in the store?
Cheese counter guy: No, since it has preservatives, we don’t sell it here at Whole Foods.
Girl #2: No wonder my doctor doesn’t allow me to have them. –Whole Foods, Time Warner Center Overheard by: George

You Aren’t Being Served

Arts Club guy: Hello, young woman! How may I help you?
Shaved head woman: Uh…can we get some drinks?
Arts Club guy: This is a private club. We’re closed.
Shaved head woman: Well, I am a member.
Arts Club guy: If you were a member, you would know that we were closed. –National Arts Club, Gramercy Park South Overheard by: Olivia + Will Halman

He Said You Need Your Hearing Checked

Russian thug #1: I need to see a psychiatrist, man.
Russian thug #2: Yeah?
Russian thug #1: Yeah, yeah, I need to get my head checked out.
Russian thug #2: You need to get your ass checked out.
Russian thug #1: What? My ass?
Russian thug #2: Yeah, you need your ass checked.
Russian thug #1: What? –F train

So Long as She Spells Bra With a D

Guy #1: She may be the stupidest girl ever.
Guy #2: I think she just pretends she is stupid.
Guy #1: Dude, she spelled Missouri with a Z, and Kansas with a U.
Guy #2: She does have a huge rack, though.
Guy #1: Tremendous! –34th & Lexington Overheard by: Oren Shapiro