Archive for 2005

Hungry & Retarded: Terry Schiavo’s Last Dream

Lady: So if I get the eggs, what does that come with?
Waiter: Potatoes, toast…
Lady: What kind of potatoes?
Waiter: French fries.
Lady: What other kind of potatoes do you have?
Waiter: Mashed potatoes, baked potato…
Lady: Oh, those don’t go with eggs. Well, since it’s extra you can leave it off.
Waiter: The potatoes come with the eggs.
Lady: Can I substitute bacon?
Waiter: I can bring you a side of bacon.
Lady: How many strips come in a side, two or three?
Waiter: Three.
Lady: Can I just have two? –University Restaurant, University Place

Nothing Sexier Than Those Missing Front Teeth

Guy #1: Have you seen her new picture yet?
Guy #2: No, is it nice?
Guy #1: Oh man, she looks beautiful.
Guy #3: Yeah, she might be cute but she has a little boy face.
Guy #2: Yeah sure she has a little boy face, but I’m into that sort of thing. –6 train Overheard by: Matthew Pollock

Not Quite So Dark as Your Wicked Soul, “Sweetie”

White girl #1: You know that guy in the purple shirt we were talking to on the train? I think I know him.
White girl #2: Wait, you mean the guy in the black shirt?
White girl #1: No, his shirt was purple…the black guy, y’know?
WHite girl #2: I really think his shirt was black…
White girl #1: Sweetie, that was his face. –168th Street station Overheard by: Cheese Monkey