Archive for 2005

Mr. Belvedere Left Us With a Huge Smile

Merchant Marine guy #1: Did you hear that there are like 75 swiss cheese deaths a year?
Merchant Marine guy #2: What? What do you mean?
Merchant Marine guy #1: It’s really rare, but sometimes there is a chemical reaction and the cheese blows up in people’s stomachs.
Merchant Marine guy #2: That has to be the worst death ever.
Merchant Marine guy #1: Or the best if the guy really loves cheese. –LIRR

Nothing Says Fitness Like a Vein-encrusted Asshole

Bodybuilder #1: Yeah, Andy called me earlier and said that he’s dropping weight so quickly he might have to come into the competition as a lightweight.
Bodybuilder #2: There is no way that Andy can do that. I mean, he was a lightweight last year. That’s not how it works.
Bodybuilder #1: I know, he needs to really cut down on the cardio. I mean, when you have totally ripped glutes, and you have huge veins on top of those glutes, you know you’re ready for the show.
Bodybuilder #2: But whatever, he will look incredible.
Bodybuilder #1: Yes he will. –Gold’s Gym, W. 54th Street Overheard by: Number 4 the Lizard