Archive for 2005

I Doubt She Has to Worry About Being Educated

Girl: I can’t get food for you guys tomorrow. I have school. I am not
leaving school just to come here and get food for all of us.
Guy: You know education isn’t going to feed you.
Girl: That’s funny, because my boyfriend said to me last night that
education wasn’t going to get me married. –Office, Old Slip & South Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova

Take a Moment to Love New York

Hobo: Stop! I don’t want any money, I don’t want anything. I just want you to look. You will never see this again in your life! He points to a window sill where he has four quarters standing on their edges. Hobo: Isn’t that beautiful? –Christopher & Bleecker Overheard by: gizzard

Overheard in New York: The Movie

Girl: I am glad you don’t think she’s prettier than me.
Guy: What? She is like, trailer trash.
Girl: No, she’s really pretty.
Guy: What are you talking about? She is some lady they found in the parking lot by the garbage. They were like, “Hey lady, we will give you $20 to do this.”
Girl: …she is like, the American standard of beauty.
Guy: She is a dumpster-diving prostitute!

–Access Digital Theatres, Prospect Park

Overheard by: matt stohrer

Guy: Can I just say, maybe Zorro shouldn’t be the first American movie you see.

–83rd & Broadway

Little boy: Why didn’t Harry Potter just take a shotgun and blow that guy’s head off?

–Loews Kips Bay Theatre, 2nd Avenue

Overheard by: Mark Schilsky

Girl #1: Shh! I can’t hear what he’s saying!
Girl #2: Bitch, you read the book already!

–DGA Theater, West 57th Street

Black chick #1: Girl, he so fine.
Black chick #2: Mmm…
Queer: Yes, we all know he’s fine, but shut the fuck up!

–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street

Overheard by: Scott Hoffman

Girl: So for the last half-hour of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I couldn’t stop crying. Then everybody in the theater turned around and laughed at me.

–Waverly & Mercer

Overheard by: Stu

Guy #1: You still fixing vans for that production house?
Guy #2: Yeah, I even got in a movie. Check me out in Prime; it’s with Uma Thurman. I’m in it for like 20 seconds playing basketball on the street with a red do-rag. I was like 30 pounds heavier then; I just got out of jail.

–DMV, Greenwich Street

Overheard by: Anthony Bloodsucker

Black woman: All these assholes going to the movies…Lowest common denominator!

–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street

Overheard by: Amanda K

Girl: I heard there’s an Asian girl in the new Harry Potter.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So they are branching out.
Guy: Yeah…but she is kinda big.

–Beard Papa’s, Broadway & Astor

Overheard by: sim choo

Girl: I am dating two different guys with kids and no one will take me to see Harry Potter. Now that‘s fucked up.

–Eatery, 9th Avenue

Overheard by: Mike

Suit: I think you would really like As Good As It Gets.
Woman: Is that the one with Jennifer Aniston?
Suit: No, it’s Helen Keller.

–75th & 3rd

Overheard by: Aaron Hotfelder

Because That is Called Soliciting

Girl #1: Where do bands come off charging 70 bucks a ticket?
Girl #2: Maybe they’re really great.
Girl #1: Well, I think I’m really great, and I don’t charge people to see me. –LIRR Overheard by: Jennifer LaBianca

It’s Funny in Her Native Mypos

Woman #1: Wow, we have a lot of stuff for this party.
Woman #2: Oh, no! Do you think we have enough meat?
Woman #1: Of course! Jerry bought us like 50 pounds worth of meat yesterday.
Woman #2: Wow…who’re they trying to feed…the Queen? Ha, ha, ha!
Woman #1: Ha, ha, ha! No, no, no, who’re they trying to feed…an elf? –7 train Overheard by: Austin Cheng