Archive for 2005

“This train will be going express. Next stop: Hell.”

Speaker: Hello?
Guy: We’ve been waiting for like an hour. Any trains coming?
Speaker: Hold on, let me see…Hello, anyone there?
Guy: Yeah, we’re here. There any trains coming?
Speaker: There’s an police investigation at Broadway. I think someone got pushed onto the tracks and run over.
Guy: But are there any trains coming? –2nd Avenue station Overheard by: Mikey J.

Miss Manners’ Guide to Yeasty Cunts

Girl #1: So he was like, “We found out you’re allergic to yeast.” And I asked, “Is that why I keep getting yeast infections?” And he goes, “No, you probably just need to be more hygenic after having intercourse.”
Girl #2: Oh my god.
Girl #1: Yeah, I know. So I was like, “WTF, man? I clean my cunt!”
Girl #2: Wait, why’d you say “WTF”?
Girl #1: Because saying “fuck” would be rude. –6 train Overheard by: Elisabeth

Remember That Whole Strike Thing?

Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against! –Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island

If They Had Kids, There’s a Fifth Option

Girl: Think you’ll be able to convince your parents to go see a movie or something over Christmas?
Guy: Not a chance. My parents are impossible to motivate to do anything.
Girl: Ah, I bet you could get them to at least try during the holidays.
Guy: I’m not kidding…They are completely exhausted by eating, sleeping, shitting, and working. That’s all they have energy for. –Tompkins Square Park Overheard by: BBW