A jazz singer was playing his set, and a girl yelled out her phone number. He yelled back: I ain’t gay, but it’s worth a shot. –55 Bar, Christopher St. Overheard by: Tyler Shields
British Lady: I have a sharp pain in my bladder.
British Guy: Maybe you’re pregnant.
British Lady: How would you know? –Empire State Building Overheard by: Katherine O’Brien
Guy: Ma’am, does the split pea with ham soup have wheat in it? I can’t have wheat. Do you know if it has wheat in it?
Soup Lady: Meat? Itâ€™s got ham, man! Says so on the sign!
Guy: No, wheat! Wheat?
Soup Lady: Oooh! Lemme check…HEY SAM, DOES THE SPLIT PEA HAVE WHEAT IN IT?
Soup Lady: No, wheat!
Sam: Nah. It don’t have no wheat!
Guy: Okay, good. I’ll have a large cup of the split pea soup.
Soup Lady: Would you like a wheat roll with that? –Juilliard cafeteria Overheard by: H J W
Chick #1: I have never been in love! Never never ever! Can you believe it?
Chick #2: Really? Wow! Well, look what’s out there.
Chick #1: I know! All the good ones are married, all the cute ones are gay, and the rest look like Shrek! All I want to do is meet a really sweet nice guy whos gorgeous and musical and creative and sweet like Jack White! Oh my god, he’s a god!
Chick #2: That White Stripes guy that punched someone out?
Chick #1: Yeah, he’s my idea of a perfect guy! God I love him!
Chick #2: Look! I got chocolate!
Chick #1: Yeah! Chocolate! –Otto’s Shrunken Head, East Village
Woman, 30s: So I go to his apartment last night after our date, and there’s all this Jesus stuff all over. I said, “Tell me this stuff is your roommate’s.” He gives me this shocked look. Turns out he’s born again! I was so pissed; I thought I was gonna get laid… –Chelsea Overheard by: Ursus Standingbear
Nylon sweat suit guy: I need a nice homecooked meal. I think I’m gonna go to Tad’s. –50th & 6th Blonde: I don’t diet. I just eat moderately. –Maggie’s, 47th & Madison
Woman: She said she want to make more than 8 dollars. I said, “Honey, you ain’t makin’ no 20 dollars unless you sell drugs.” –Bowery Overheard by: Stephanie Emilienburg Girl on cell: I think the truth is rotting into your brain, that’s why you’re getting migraines. –Astoria Overheard by: Rych
Guy: 100 bucks! Can you believe it? 100 bucks and all I had to do was suck on his toes for a while!
Overheard by: J. B. Palka
Hobo preacher: You might as well just start wiping your ass with your
college diploma, because that’s all they’re good for anyway. –Union Square
Girl: So then I asked everyone, “Who’s ever had anal?” and then he turned around… –St. John’s University Overheard by: Megan Cowles Girl: Cattle? Who said anything about cattle? Now chickens…they’re fun to molest sometimes. –Fort Greene
Hipster: Of course I saw her fuck him–I was watching! –Grand St, Williamsburg Guy: I even thought about taking him to the tranny bar, you know, so he could be free. –Sounds, St. Marks Place Overheard by: Dr. Ballon