Girl: …but it’s not like you have to be really religious to be a nun anyway, right? –Clara Barton High, Crown Heights
Fat black chick: I can’t come when I’m having regular sex.
Skinny black chick: Why not?
Fat black chick: I don’t know. It just doesn’t happen.
Skinny black chick: Maybe the guy sucks.
Fat black chick: And I have a sensitive clit, too.
Skinny black chick: He definitely ain’t hittin it right. Maybe you should get rid of that punk ass bitch. –46th St. & 8th Ave.
Black guy: They’re taking over! Where the shit am I supposed to eat?
Customer: I’ll have a slice of the eggplant.
Pizza guy: You know that’s organic right?
Customer: That’s fine. How long have you guys been organic?
Pizza guy: Oh, about 2 weeks now. The white girls are loving it. –Delancey & Essex pizzeria Overheard by: Brian Dad (to son, 6): Do you want to go to Cafe Pertutti or Oren’s Daily Roast? –Morningside Heights Overheard by: RPK