Archive for 2005

Wednesday One-liners

Construction guy: That Barney Rubble, he’s some actor. –South Street Seaport bar Overheard by: Keith McCarthy Guy: She’s a spoiled rotten brat. She’s rich as shit and gets everything she wants. It fucking pisses me off. I can’t stand her…the only reason I know all this is ’cause I hang out with her like 24 hours a day. –1 train Hobo: Hillary Clinton and Pee-Wee Herman are Democrats! I am a Republican! –12th St. & 7th Ave. Overheard by: Caroline N

Go Back to Canadia!

Woman #1: And what did he want to talk about?
Woman #2: My beaver.
Woman #1: Can you imagine his nerve?
Woman #2: Honey, lots of people are talking about my beaver. Hell more are thinking about it if they aren’t already fucking it. –Lexington & 42nd

Because Old People Dying is a New Phenomenon

Old Guy #1: Oh, he’s probably dead. That other guy too. What was his name?
Old Guy #2: And his friend, that writer. Haven’t seen him around either.
Old Guy #1: Do you remember that guy that used to play chess with you?
Old Guy #2: Yeah.
Old Guy #1: I just found out he’s dead too.
Old Guy #2: The city’s changing. –9th St. between 1st & 2nd Overheard by: Alex Romanovich

The Wrath of Chaka Khan

Homie #1: Damn! Shorty set the phasers on stun!
Homie #2: Shields up! –Union Square station Producer guy #1: So it’s like when a Trekkie sees Patrick Stewart and immediately yells “There’s Captain Kirk.”
Producer guy #2: Oh, you’re right! Maybe we should just stick to that hip-hop audience you were talking about. Forget the Trekkies. –Katz’s Deli, Houston Street

There’s Our Problem: Not Enough Dead Children

Lady: They’ve got psychiatrists for dogs. They’ve even got their own cemeteries. They’ve got more things than kids! –Eckerd’s, Bensonhurst Younger brother: I wish I could jump over buildings like Spider-man.
Older sister: Little buildings or really tall buildings?
Younger brother: Tall buildings.
Older sister: I bet you could. Why don’t you try it sometime? –M14 bus