Archive for 2005

Wednesday One-liners Are Bad Ideas

Lesbian: Oh my god! And then all you’d have to do is puke on her and we’d all be even! –Ginger’s Bar, Park Slope Guy: Man, don’t worry about kicking that guy’s ass. Like Jesus said, “Turn the motherfucking cheek”, you know? –Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: PB Stalkee: …so then out of the blue I get an email that’s like, “Remember me? I broke up with your neighbor like 6 months ago. Wanna get together?” –Mugs Ale House, Williamsburg Overheard by: Greg Rutter Scalper: Rangers tickets! New York Rangers tickets for sale! –41st & 7th

Two Sides of the Story: Wednesday One-liners

Guy: I asked her, “Do you have any retail experience?” and she answered, “No, but I used to sell my body.” –Stonehome Wine Bar, Lafayette Avenue, Brooklyn Overheard by: Anna Woman: I was two fisting, unfortunately. –APT, W. 13th Street Guy: I think he drank like a gallon of olive oil and some minerals, and he was shitting stones. –27th Street office

Sexed Up Wednesday One-liners

Girl: I wanted to do something like Jenny On The Block. You know: Jennifer Lopez. My character is really hot, but she looks a little psycho. –13th St. & 3rd Ave. Teenage girl: Bitch! I did not give you syphilis. I gave you crabs. –13th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Chris Carter Asian boy: If I could name you anything, it would be “titty”. –F train Overheard by: Nathalie

Wednesday One-liners: Cocks & Trains

Girl: …so I told him to suck his own dick if he thinks he can do it any better. –G train Overheard by: Ocera Little boy: Mommy, mommy, do you have a penis? –E train Overheard by: Ting JHS kid: …so I said, “He’s gonna make you stay after class and he’s gonna pull down your fucking pants and shove his fucking cock up your ass!” –Times Square shuttle Overheard by: Lizzy

Bloody Wednesday One-liners

Queer on cell: Yah, well, Terri Schiavo died this week, and so did the Pope. So it’s been a pretty good week. –Chumley’s, Bedford Street Overheard by: Initials Girl on cell: Fuckety fuck fuck, I forgot to put on a tampon this morning. Shit, shit, shit! I’m screwed, Lizette, I’m screwed. –Bensonhurst Girl on cell: Don’t walk in the blood! Don’t walk in the blood! Oh ah aah!…Thanks lady, thanks for walking in the blood. –Essex & Rivington Overheard by: Nicole A.

Wednesday One-liners: Questions

Fat old lady: Do you happen to know who wrong the song “Who Let the Dogs Out”? –Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street Old woman: What do you want me to talk about? You don’t want to hear about my dog. You don’t want to hear about my cat. What else is there to talk about? –N train Overheard by: Nim G Blueblood woman: Yesterday I was in here and got 2 tomatoes and left them here. Have they been found? –Bleecker Street grocery

Wednesday One-liners

Construction guy: That Barney Rubble, he’s some actor. –South Street Seaport bar Overheard by: Keith McCarthy Guy: She’s a spoiled rotten brat. She’s rich as shit and gets everything she wants. It fucking pisses me off. I can’t stand her…the only reason I know all this is ’cause I hang out with her like 24 hours a day. –1 train Hobo: Hillary Clinton and Pee-Wee Herman are Democrats! I am a Republican! –12th St. & 7th Ave. Overheard by: Caroline N