Guy: I asked her, “Do you have any retail experience?” and she answered, “No, but I used to sell my body.” –Stonehome Wine Bar, Lafayette Avenue, Brooklyn Overheard by: Anna Woman: I was two fisting, unfortunately. –APT, W. 13th Street Guy: I think he drank like a gallon of olive oil and some minerals, and he was shitting stones. –27th Street office
Girl: I wanted to do something like Jenny On The Block. You know: Jennifer Lopez. My character is really hot, but she looks a little psycho. –13th St. & 3rd Ave. Teenage girl: Bitch! I did not give you syphilis. I gave you crabs. –13th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Chris Carter Asian boy: If I could name you anything, it would be “titty”. –F train Overheard by: Nathalie
Girl: …so I told him to suck his own dick if he thinks he can do it any better. –G train Overheard by: Ocera Little boy: Mommy, mommy, do you have a penis? –E train Overheard by: Ting JHS kid: …so I said, “He’s gonna make you stay after class and he’s gonna pull down your fucking pants and shove his fucking cock up your ass!” –Times Square shuttle Overheard by: Lizzy
Queer on cell: Yah, well, Terri Schiavo died this week, and so did the Pope. So it’s been a pretty good week. –Chumley’s, Bedford Street Overheard by: Initials Girl on cell: Fuckety fuck fuck, I forgot to put on a tampon this morning. Shit, shit, shit! I’m screwed, Lizette, I’m screwed. –Bensonhurst Girl on cell: Don’t walk in the blood! Don’t walk in the blood! Oh ah aah!…Thanks lady, thanks for walking in the blood. –Essex & Rivington Overheard by: Nicole A.
Fat old lady: Do you happen to know who wrong the song “Who Let the Dogs Out”? –Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street Old woman: What do you want me to talk about? You don’t want to hear about my dog. You don’t want to hear about my cat. What else is there to talk about? –N train Overheard by: Nim G Blueblood woman: Yesterday I was in here and got 2 tomatoes and left them here. Have they been found? –Bleecker Street grocery
Construction guy: That Barney Rubble, he’s some actor. –South Street Seaport bar Overheard by: Keith McCarthy Guy: She’s a spoiled rotten brat. She’s rich as shit and gets everything she wants. It fucking pisses me off. I can’t stand her…the only reason I know all this is ’cause I hang out with her like 24 hours a day. –1 train Hobo: Hillary Clinton and Pee-Wee Herman are Democrats! I am a Republican! –12th St. & 7th Ave. Overheard by: Caroline N
Guido #1: So what you you think about this new shirt?
Guido #2: It’s fucking great. You should buy another one just like it and throw them both out. –Hudson Hotel, W. 58th Street Overheard by: MIchael G
Guy: Where is the nearest subway?
Girl: We are not eating at Subway. –Thompson & Bleecker Overheard by: Charles Star
Guy #1: Hit him in the fucking head.
Guy #2: Fuck him in the head.
Guy #1: Yo, that’s mad homoerotic, son. –St. Mark’s Ale House, St. Mark’s Place Overheard by: Eric
Teenage girl #1: So Judge Judy is a racist.
Teenage girl #2: Isn’t she in charge of all the New York judges, don’t they all report to her?
Teenage girl #3: Nah, I think she’s just in charge of the TV judges. –2 train Overheard by: Lisa Marshall