Archive for 2005

Even a Penny Helps, Wednesday One-liners

Hobo: She’s fine, I’d fuck her…her too. And that one. And….ooh, not her, you can have that one. –Madison Square Park Old hobo: Who the fuck said black people are dangerous? The next person I hear say that I am throwing in the next dumpster! –40th & 8th Hobo: People, if you do not have a useable skill and/or a good pussy, you do not get that train ticket home! –Times Square

Wednesday One-liners, For Chrissakes

Crazy lady: I spent two years single, and then I met Jesus. And Jesus and I have been together for four years. And Jesus never forgets to call and check in once in awhile. He says, “Hey, how you doin’?”. –Sunnyside Overheard by: Mikey Guy: He was into wearing slippers without socks. Like Jesus. –Union Square station Subway preacher: Jay Z ain’t gonna save ya! Jesus’ll save ya! –West 4th Street station

You’re Dreaming If You Think They’re Interesting

Chick #1: One of my friend’s moms has unholy thoughts about Charlie Rose.
Chick #2: One of my friends has dreams about having sex with her family’s minivan. And not humping the side of it, either. We’re talking full on, riding the stick-shift sex. Hmmm.
Chick #1: We run with an interesting crowd. –1 train Overheard by: Djlindee

Transferring From the F to the A

Guy #1: You know, I just love fucking my girlfriend up the ass.
Guy #2: Why do you want to tell me that?
Guy #1: It’s better than anything.
Guy #2: Dude, I don’t care, shut the fuck up.
Guy #1: It’s like putting your dick in a extremely tight and warm–
Guy #2: Dude, honestly, I don’t give a fuck, so if you are going to start again, I’m gonna rip out your throat. Comprende? –F train Overheard by: Ting

I’m Concerned in General

Spanish dude: Yeah, she left me a message and it was like, “Oh, I see you ain’t answering your phone and shit ’cause you doin’ what you do…but that’s ai’ight, I’m a do me.” So I called her, I was like, “What you doin’ you? Matta fact, did you do you already? You gon’ go out and fuck somebody else because I couldn’t pick up my phone?”. And she was like, “Nah, nooo, I didn’t mean it, I was just mad. And then you got that other bitch.” I said, “I’m not concerned about that bitch, I’m concerned about this bitch.” –A train