Archive for 2005

Wednesday One-liners Get on the 6

Hipster: I have so many friends in their 20s who are still virgins! Is “virgin” the new pink? –6 train Hobo: Listen up! I’m not here to beg or ask for money. I’m here to tell you that a flashlight like this one could save your life. There are no promises! Be prepared! Always carry a flashlight and water! –6 train Girlfriend: …and no more talking about economics when you are inside of me… –6 train Overheard by: A

Wednesday One-liners Hit Yuppietown

Hipster girl: She asked me, “Like, when you give your grandmother a bath, do you use bleach?” –Williamsburg Overheard by: Jeremy Dawson White girl: I know, right? If I’m gonna get fucked over, it’s gonna be by a genuine asshole, not by some pussy-ass white boy who’s not even good in bed. –Williamsburg Woman on cell: …is it wrong that I just kind of want to shit all over her whenever she mentions something good happening in her life? –Bedford Avenue station Man: All I ever want to do is hang around my apartment. Nekkid. With money taped all over me. –Montrose Avenue station Overheard by: K.M.

Wednesday One-liners Go to the Park

Drunk hobo: Excuse me, sir, do you have Michael Jackson’s phone number? –Central Park Overheard by: alec Girl on cell: Like, how many miles are in a square mile? –Central Park Overheard by: Glynnis Guy on cell: No. You don’t understand. These girls are hungry. Tofu is not going to fucking do it. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Hambone Bootblack Jogger lady: Oh, great, it’s raining. Thanks a lot, God. –Central Park Overheard by: mj Man: That guy’s got a chicken. He’s gonna burn it! Hey man, don’t hurt the animals! He’s gonna burn the chicken! –Tompkins Square Park Overheard by: Alex Romanovich

Brother Gets Around

Garage guy: Yo, how much is the subway now?
Dude: Two motherfuckin’ dollars.
Garage guy: Fuck that. A gallon of gas is less than that.
Dude: Dumbass, if you had a car, you would know that gas is more than $2.
Garage guy: Well, I don’t.
Dude: No shit, dumbass.
Garage guy: My bitch do…ha, ha, ha. –Park Slope parking garage Overheard by: Jim Chambers