Chick on phone: Where is Argentina?…Is there a beach? –Madison Avenue office Tourist guy: You know, for such a big city, it’s funny that New York has no rivers. –Q train Overheard by: Eva D Navy lady: So he tried to tell me that this was the Empire State Building, but it’s Trump Tower! –Columbus Circle
Drunk girl: So, the bill is $80, the tip should be $16, right?…So $80 and $16 is $136…We’ve got $150 here, that’s more than enough, let’s take $10 back for the cab…So are we really going to Scores now? –White Horse Tavern, Hudson Street Overheard by: Laura Fenton
Man: Yo, what are you selling?
Man: What’s that?
Vendor: Read the sign…Fuck you. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Chris
HS boy #1: So anyway, I told my mom that I’m going to get my eyebrow pierced when I graduate.
HS boy #2: Oh yeah? And what did she say?
HS boy #1: She told me that if I got it pierced, she’d grab me by the eyebrow ring and swing me around the room until my face ripped off. –5 train Overheard by: christina
Dude: I really need a second job.
Chick: You should post on craigslist or something.
Dude: Yeah, right. “WILL DO ANYTHING”.
Chick: Whoa, no, don’t say that. Soon you’ll have two cocks in your mouth and one in your ear. –23rd & 6th Overheard by: Peter
Pedicab driver: I lost all my money there.
Tourist lady: Oh, really?
Pedicab driver: Yes. I was rich once. And a genius. –Times Square Overheard by: Fern
Garage guy: Yo, how much is the subway now?
Dude: Two motherfuckin’ dollars.
Garage guy: Fuck that. A gallon of gas is less than that.
Dude: Dumbass, if you had a car, you would know that gas is more than $2.
Garage guy: Well, I don’t.
Dude: No shit, dumbass.
Garage guy: My bitch do…ha, ha, ha. –Park Slope parking garage Overheard by: Jim Chambers
Hobo: ‘Scuse me. You wanna give a quarter to the United Negro Pizza Fund? –44th & 8th Hobo: Listen, girls, do you care to donate to the United Negro Pastrami Sandwich Fund? –Bowery between 3rd & 4th Hobo: Would you like to donate to the United Negro Pizza Fund? –82nd & Amsterdam Overheard by: Leigh Hobo: Can you offer a contribution to the United Negro I Didn’t Go to College Fund? –60th & Columbus
Tourist lady #1: Where are we?
Tourist lady #2: Um, duh, we’re at Time Square Street. –N train Overheard by: Mikey
Dad: Do you want to go home and get s-t-o-n-e-d? –16th & 5th Overheard by: braun bowery