Archive for 2005

Wednesday One-liners Have Got Me All Excited

Queer: That girl shows her tits for pizza. She’s like an heiress or something, but she’s also a hooker on Craigslist. –Marie’s Crisis, Grove Street Guy: You’re much prettier than some random girl I saw at the airport
yesterday. –12 Chairs, Macdougal Street Hipster guy: I have a sexual thing for zombies. –4th & D Man on cell: What do you mean, “you are deeply fucked”? –St. Mark’s & 2nd Overheard by: ljdes Woman on cell: She looks like the kind of person who would giggle during sex. –Christopher Street Doorman: I feel sexy today! –81st & CPW Overheard by: Brad King Black chick: Damn, girl! You know you be fly when the boys in the yarmulkes be checkin’ yo’ ass out! –Broadway & 110th Overheard by: Max Ravyn Girl on cell: Mom, I don’t know what he’s supposed to have in his fridge, I usually don’t see anything but his sheets… –75th & 3rd Old lady: You were sexually active when you were 9? –76th & 3rd Overheard by: Pinsy

Law and Order and Wednesday One-liners

Guy on cell: …yeah, and then I got arrested. So what’s up with you? –Brooklyn Heights Cop: Man, there’s a lot of Grade A ass out here today! –Ground Zero Guy: Don’t feel bad, honey. I’d say that one out of every 8 guys is a convicted arsonist. –Union Square Cop: Man, I hate going to the bathroom. You gotta take all this stuff off! –Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street Overheard by: Tommy Raiko

Boys Have Wednesday One-liners, Girls Have a Vagina

Girl on cell: Yeah…he was big. Real big. Like…it hurts big. I’m talking anaconda. –72nd Street 1/2/3 station Overheard by: Jennie S. Man on cell: I’m tired, man! I been working all week. Do I have to sign the paper with my dick?…No, I’m not complainin’. –84th & 2nd Lady: Yo, it smells like dirty dick over here. –Dakota Roadhouse, Park Place Overheard by: Courtney C Guy: Just because you’re hot and sweaty doesn’t mean you can’t have your cock hangin’ out on a Friday night. –Houston between Eldridge & Forsyth Women: Why does every man have to stare at my tits? Like they’ve never seen none before? Haven’t they seen their Momma’s or their wives’ or their girlfriends’? The other day a man asked me if my tits were real, I said, “Is your dick real?”. –7th & 30th Chickon cell: Yeah, girl, he has a turtle dick. –M5 bus Overheard by: Orianna Baez Girl: Believe me, if I wanted your dick up my ass, I would have put it there myself. –SOB’s, Varick Street

Boy Have a Penis; Girls Have Wednesday One-liners

Chick: I swear to god, I don’t know how nothing has happened to me yet, either I am infertile or the cure for herpes is in my vagina. –6 train Overheard by: brynn Man on cell: Hey, baby. It’s sure hot out today…you better get out those hot pants…I mean hot shorts…your pussy must be burning up. –56th & Broadway Businesswoman on cell: Aw, man. If only she were a hermaphrodite! Damn! –7th & Perry Korean dude: Are you suggesting that you have a super dope vagina? –Camel, W. 33rd Street Overheard by: Dave Min Man: We’re going to have a tampon fondue! –Duane Reade, Bay Ridge Overheard by: molina1230