Girl: …he had a tattoo of a tornado on his ring finger to remind himself never to get married again. –Midtown elevator Hobo: Try a squirrel. Tastes like steak! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: prairie squid
Engineer: Unlike you, I am not always thinking about cock! –Midtown office Overheard by: Randy Locklair Blonde Teen: No. Like it’s hairy. Like really hairy. Like I-have-to-trim-it hairy. –3rd Ave & 11th St. Overheard by: D O double
Construction worker: …it was like, the biggest skull ever found or
some shit. –44th & Madison Teenage girl: I failed the math test so I told Ma I ain’t gonna graduate in June. I ain’t gotta do anything but stay black and die. –6 train
B&T girl: These bra inserts I’m wearing are hard as rocks! –Tao Asian Bistro, Midtown Woman: Well, I trusted you before you put your dick in her. –Tabla Bread Bar, Flatiron District
A ghetto guy checks out a girl’s ass and says: Damn, yo. I had one like that back in ’88. When I was workin’ in the mailroom. –Times Square Overheard by: Zander Girl: There is no sperm in the period! Jeez, you’re a moron. –Lincoln Center
Black guy: Man, Asia and Africa is totally disinterconnected! –E train Guy on cell: She has no idea I’ve been on steroids all week! –City Hall Park Overheard by: Bria Dunham
Suit #1: Have you heard of that guy, Usher?
Suit #2: No, should I have?
Suit #1: You know, he’s one of those guys with the underwear hanging out of the back of their pants.
Suit #2: You know what? If someone doesn’t know what size pants to wear, then I don’t need to know them. –Penn Station Overheard by: marissa
Guy #1: She’s tired.
Guy #2: So is her. –7th Ave & 23rd St.
Asian chick #1: The thing is, he’s a Jewish guy? And like, ya know, a lot of Jewish guys are in to Asian girls?
Asian chick #2: Yeah?
Asian chick #1: Yeah. I think it’s like because, like, both cultures are so, like, into family? Like Jews are really into family and Asians are really into family?
Asian chick #2: Yeah.
Asian chick #1: But also? I think he kind of has an Asian fetish?
Asian chick #2: I hate that.
Asian chick #1: Yeah. He’s like…ya know. A nerdy Jewish guy who likes to date Asian girls?
Asian chick #2: Yeah.
Asian chick #1: Yeah, but he’s really cute in that way that he’s nerdy but he loves Asian girls?
Asian chick #2: Yeah. –N/R 8th street station
Suit #1: We’ve gone through your wallet several times. You’ve got a condom in there from 1945. Come on.
Suit #2: I go bareback, brother. Do you really wanna hear about my sex life? –Midtown office