Girl on cell: …and it was right after he said that that I started doing double penetration, and I’ve never looked back. –C train Overheard by: Mickey Marx Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the B train. B like, like, like, um, brothel. –B train Overheard by: ed
Girl on cell: I knew it was over when I grabbed his shirt and he told me I was pulling his hair. –Bleecker & W. 11th Overheard by: Alaska Guy: Yeah, but the guy’s the Michael Jackson of dishwashing… –Houston Street & Avenue B Overheard by: Andrew Williams
Black guy: It is the last day of Black History Month and nobody sent me a card?
White guy: Well then, happy Black History Month.
Black guy: Yeah sure, whatever!
White guy: No, seriously, thank you! Thank you for Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Richard Pryor…
Black guy: Well I guess tomorrow I have to back to sitting in the back of the bus!
White guy: No! What are you talking about? We don’t pick on blacks anymore! That’s what gays are for!
Black guy: Ohhh! –Graham Street station Overheard by: Philip Rafferty
Some kids were making gun noises.
Dad: Nah, the trick is to use a silencer. –Amity Diner, UES Overheard by: Anastasia Dyakovskaya
Teenager #1: So she 14, and you 17?
Teenager #2: Yeah, man.
Teenager #1: That’s nasty! You a rapist! –R train
Black guy on cell: …she’s just a fucking secretary. All she knows about computers she learned from watching some dude. Me? I’m a guru who taught at the New School. I don’t get any respect because of my dreads… –Madison and 45th
Chick: So you think that by you comin’ at me all gangsta you gonna get my pussy?
Overheard by: brian
Suit #1: So what did you think of the title I handed in for [Henderson]’s new job?
Suit #2: I was in Albany when you sent that out. I didn’t get a chance to read it.
Suit #1: I was going to write “potentate” but I wasn’t sure that I could spell it!
Suit #3: Well, most Caesars were murdered… –Burger Heaven, 49th St.
Boy, 7: Who’s that guy again?
Mom: Which one?
Boy, 7: Subway.
Mother: Bernard Goetz. –B48 bus
Guy: How about The Black Market Babies?
Girl: The Black Market Babies?
Guy: The thing is, there’s already a band called The Backyard Babies. If you know anything about The Backyard Babies, you wouldn’t want to be associated with them.
Girl: Isn’t that who Dana dated?
Guy: No. I got her backstage to meet him. She’s in the dressing room; I used my radio credentials to get her in. He was all ready to make a move and then he started vomiting! That’s when I met Joey Ramone. I was going to complain to Joey but he died shortly after. –D train