…But It Gets Blown a Lot.

Tall, hot hipster brunette: I mean, when I see girls flocking around him when he's DJing I just think “oh, they are DJ whores.”
Little Asian friend: Uh-huh.
Tall, hot hipster brunette: But this girl has never seen him DJ or anything. I don't get it. It's beyond my level of comprehension.
Little Asian friend: It's okay, me too.
Tall, hot hipster brunette: It's like he has a slut whistle and we cannot hear that frequency. –Brooklyn Overheard by: muffin

Does Hallmark Make a Card for That?

Middle-aged woman #1: Do you still see Paul and Adira?
Middle-aged woman #2: Well, I could call them any time.
Middle-aged woman #1: But then you'd have to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: It's not that I don't want to have a relationship with them…
(pause)
Middle-aged woman #1: But you don't want to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: Exactly. –Columbus Circle

Crazy in the Head, Crazy in the Bed

Asian guy: She’s crazy. She’s obsessed with death!
Pudgy White guy: But she’s hot.
Black guy: So what?
Pudgy White guy: Yeah, she’s crazy…but she’s hot. They kind of balance each other out, you know? –F train Overheard by: emdashes Boyfriend: What about kitty?
Girlfriend: Oh, I could eat kitty. No really, I could make a great stir-fry with the cat.
Boyfriend: You would eat my cat?
Girlfriend: Ah, that would be a great way to get at you: eat your cat. –St. Mark’s Place

Insults Are Their Cardio.

Skinny chick in designer clothing: Yeah, well she also said that you have flat hair.
Skinny chick in designer clothing dripping in diamonds, nonchalantly: Yeah, well you can tell her that my father ate her father's pathetic excuse for a company for breakfast this morning and intends to stop by again for lunch to rip the CEO plate off his office door and shove it up his ass.
Skinny chick in designer clothing: Okay. I'll also add that she didn't get into Georgetown and you did. That'll sting.
Skinny chick in designer clothing dripping in diamonds: And don't forget to throw in that witty line I had about her nose job looking like it was done by Ray Charles.
Skinny chick in designer clothing: Pfffft. Fucking Red Sox fans. –Penn Station Overheard by: mel