The Wednesday One-Liners behind the Badge

Male cop to another: Did I tell you today how much I love you? –34th & 8th Overheard by: Egon Thug jumping onto train just as doors were closing: Yo, what train is this? Nah, I don’t care as long as the cops didn’t see me. –C train, Penn Station Overheard by: go rangers! Cop car loudspeaker to random driver: Please use your turn signal when you make an illegal left turn and cut off the bus causing an accident. –8th & University Overheard by: misspenny Conductor: Do not go in between cars at any time, whether or not the train is moving. This is becoming a police state. That’s why I’m outta here. –S train, Grand Central Overheard by: Hametuka

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Fool — Even Now the Eye of Sharon Turns in Our Direction!

Dude #1: I mean, when she walked into the room it was like… a demonic presence.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Dude #1: No, you don’t. Your girlfriend isn’t like that. She’s not a bitch.
Dude #2: Yeah, she is, just in a different way. She’s a smart enough bitch not to let people know she’s a bitch. –NYC High School

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Pepé Le Pew’s Scentimental Wednesday One-Liners

Hobo: Hey, ladies. [Girls giggle.] You smell so good — like Campbell’s soup! –10th & Broadway Overheard by: Emily Man on cell: You tell your smelly sisters that they have to shower tonight. –39th & 5th Queer hipster to fag hag: Oh my god, his placenta stank! –N train Overheard by: Lauren Chick to friend: Shut up, or I’ll sniff you in a minute! –Central Park JAP: Ew, like — I like, washed my hair, like, this morning… Why does it, like, smell? Ewww… That’s sooo bimmey! –1 train Chipper thugette: I smell pussy! –L train, Bedford stop

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