Woman on cell: Well what did you expect? Did you think you could just go into the subway and get a million bucks playing your guitar? –Union Square Overheard by: Domi
A woman wearing a Mick Jagger shirt is approached by a model, who tells her: I like your shirt. Then the model calls her son (about four) over and says: Look at her shirt. That’s his dad, you know. [Turns out that she wasn't joking; the model's name is Luciana Morad.] –Time Warner Center Mall
Queer #1: When’s the only time you’re supposed to walk in front of a woman?
Queer #2: Let me think…
Queer #1: If you’re walking down the stairs. That way, if she falls you can break her fall and catch her. So when you came on this elevator in front of this young lady, you were being rude! –Midtown elevator
Crazy: So I had to get fillings in all of my teeth.
Passenger: Uh huh.
Crazy: But I figured, why let them do that to me after they drilled holes in my brain, ya know?
Crazy: But I figured, might as well! Although if they were going to fill my teeth, I’d want them to use jelly.
Crazy: But the guy at the counter said they were out of jelly. So I got a blueberry muffin.
Overheard by: Johnny Shizzle
Two boys were playing on a fire escape. Boy #1: Okay. Now I’ll be the policeman, and you be the fireworks on Coney Island. –Windsor Terrace
Chick #1: He was a skateboarder.
Chick #2: Yeah. Let me just say that he was locked and loaded. He had a nice package. –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Gay man #1: You should stop doing coke and just do ecstasy, because the coke makes you a shady bitch.
Gay man #2: Are you on coke right now? –East Village Overheard by: Tibbie X
Chick: You know how you wanted to call him up and say it’s not personal, you just want to be friends? Don’t. They need to be told. They don’t know that they’re idiots. –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario! –Carmine St.
Chick: He’s like an ultraconservative and he was watching Bush’s speech and yelling and saying “You guys don’t know what’s going on!”. It was crazy. –Washington Square Park