Wednesday One-Liners for Jesus

Docent: So they brought in this group from Wisconsin, and Barb called me to meet them out front, and she said "Now I want you to know that they're kind of rough and young", but I thought she'd said "rough nuns", so I said, "Rough nuns? In this day and age?"

–Carnegie Hall

Overheard by: Katarina

Art student: They were handing out free bibles, and the pages make great rolling paper!

–Astor place

Gay guy: I mean, I don't even believe in gay marriage. It's too steeped in religious tradition. We should make up something better and we can call it, like, super… Rainbow… Awesome hookup… Or something. Lesbians get a marriage pass, though. They're like already married in their heads when they meet, buying diapers and shit.

–R Train

Overheard by: jules

Big Latino thug: That's why I can't be religious! I see all these asses and… (gestures helplessly)

–35th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Courtwick


When You Realize Your Pain Is Self-Inflicted

Teen girl: Something must have gone wrong during her wax.
Teen boy: What was it?
Teen girl: I don’t know. She was, like, crying. And she hasn’t gotten another wax. I just don’t get it.
Teen boy: Sucks for her.
Teen girl: Seriously.

–Broadway & Prince

Overheard by: still speechless

It’s Always the One You Most Suspect

Hispanic woman: …and then I caught him going through my pocketbook and I was like, “You betta get out of there”, because he might find something that looks like a Skittle but it’s really a pill. He gonna grow up to be a thief or somethin’.
White woman: He looks like a murderer. –R train Overheard by: Beast Boy