Hobo: If you see me pissin’ on your lawn, it’s my disease. I have mental illness. I just got out of psychiatric. At this point he whipped it out and proceeded to water a tree. –Washington Square Park
Chick: I think the angel is an appropriate icon for me.
Guy: I think ben-wa balls may have been more appropriate. –1 train Overheard by: djlindee
Guy: I am really excited about our trip to Germany in the summer. We have to make sure to stop in Frankfurt to meet my family.
Girl: I am kind of nervous about meeting your grandfather since your mom said he was a Nazi and I am Jewish.
Guy: My grandfather is just a mild Nazi. He only believes in the conspiracy theories about Jews.
Girl: Well, I don’t care that your grandfather’s a Nazi. I love you.
Overheard by: Cannelle
Bimbo #1: So can she work and stuff?
Bimbo #2: I don’t know. She’s going to these meetings…
Bimbo #1: Oh, you mean like coping classes and stuff? –6 train
Tween girl #1: She’s been in this bitchy mood all week and when I asked her why she said she just got back from the Holocaust Memorial.
Tween girl #2: Holo–oh, that Jewish thing with all the candles? Why does that have a memorial? –Dumbo Overheard by: Egregious Pixie
Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along! –Canal Street JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out. –Broadway & Washington Place Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women! –Times Square Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you! –Elizabeth & Prince Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight? –Penn Station Overheard by: djlindee
Drunk guy: Dude! Why are you crossing the street? You're gonna get yourself fuckin' killed!
Sober friend: It's a “walk” sign. And you're drunk.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Emma
Woman #1: Well, maybe it’ll be better next time.
Woman #2: No, there ain’t gonna be a next time, because if there is a next time, I’m gonna kick you in the head!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Duncan
Ghetto girl: Yo, I didn't realize your birthday was on the day you were actually born on.
Overheard by: Squiggle
Crazy guy: Somebody needs to give me the right hand! No one is ever willing to give me the right hand. Why won’t anyone give me a right hand?
Timid guy, sitting across from him: [raises his right hand]
Crazy guy: Thank you.
Overheard by: Only had the left hand