Archive for January, 2006

He Took Care of That Himself

HS girl #1: I saw on TV last night they were saying how you can bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Uh, how dead?
HS girl #1: Like Hitler…
HS girl #3: That’s crazy. I read the Bible. You can not bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Fool, they brought Jesus back from the dead. –Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx

It’s Talk Radio, Live!

Bag lady: Could someone spare some change? My welfare was denied.
Crazy lady: Yeah, yeah, they denied mine the first time too. Get over it.
Man: Does anyone know how to get to–
Crazy lady: They aren’t listening, they aren’t going to talk to you. They can’t talk. They are all mute. –F train

That Reminds Me; I Need to Get a Gun

Store girl: Here’s your receipt and have a happy holiday!
Store guy: The holidays are over.
Store girl: Valentine’s Day is coming up. –Mazzone True Value Hardware, Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Rob Thug guy: Yo, happy New Year’s, man.
Janitor guy: New Year’s is over, yo.
Thug guy: Happy Mother’s Day! –Port Authority