Archive for January, 2006

Year of the Jackass

Guy #1: Why did you cut your knish like you’re an Asian person?
Girl: Because I’m a jink!
Guy #2: Anna, you are one crazy cookie. –Astoria Man: I have never seen so many chinks in one Starbucks in all my life. –Starbucks, Crosby & Spring Overheard by: Jas Guy: This is, like, the third time they’ve made me feel stupid in public. God, I hate Chinese people! –Houston & Suffolk Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

A NSA Tattoo Works Wonders

Guy #1: So I had ex sex last night.
Guy #2: How was it?
Guy #1: Amazing as always, but now I’m fucked cause she’s gonna start calling me again.
Guy #2: Imagine that, you sleep with someone and then they call you…Crazy. –1 train

He Took Care of That Himself

HS girl #1: I saw on TV last night they were saying how you can bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Uh, how dead?
HS girl #1: Like Hitler…
HS girl #3: That’s crazy. I read the Bible. You can not bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Fool, they brought Jesus back from the dead. –Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx

It’s Talk Radio, Live!

Bag lady: Could someone spare some change? My welfare was denied.
Crazy lady: Yeah, yeah, they denied mine the first time too. Get over it.
Man: Does anyone know how to get to–
Crazy lady: They aren’t listening, they aren’t going to talk to you. They can’t talk. They are all mute. –F train