Archive for January, 2006

Just Rub the Big Toe

Girl #1: Your room always smells so good, like coconuts and coffee. It reminds me of the Caribbean. What kind of candles do you have?
Girl #2: That’s not from a candle. The coconut is from the foot cream I use so my feet don’t stink and the coffee smell is there because I spilled some on my carpet and never cleaned it up.
Girl #1: Oh…where can I get the foot cream, then? –Starbucks, 17th & Broadway

It’s Talk Radio, Live!

Bag lady: Could someone spare some change? My welfare was denied.
Crazy lady: Yeah, yeah, they denied mine the first time too. Get over it.
Man: Does anyone know how to get to–
Crazy lady: They aren’t listening, they aren’t going to talk to you. They can’t talk. They are all mute. –F train

That Reminds Me; I Need to Get a Gun

Store girl: Here’s your receipt and have a happy holiday!
Store guy: The holidays are over.
Store girl: Valentine’s Day is coming up. –Mazzone True Value Hardware, Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Rob Thug guy: Yo, happy New Year’s, man.
Janitor guy: New Year’s is over, yo.
Thug guy: Happy Mother’s Day! –Port Authority