Robbie Sounds Like an Ashole

Girl #1: So, I don’t know, I guess I’m giving up manicures for Lent.
Girl #2: Really? Shit! I’m not. Robbie would not be cool with that. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Katie M.

Go Back to Jersey, Girl

Chick: I’d do you.
Kevin Smith: No, you wouldn’t. Not even if you were stoned and drunk. –Jacob Javits Center Overheard by: Heather

Test Some in a Kid First

Man: She needs to be on something.
Woman: She is; haven’t you seen all the medicine bottles on her desk?
Man: She’s got medicine on her desk? Let’s go get some. –50th & 8th Overheard by: Jelly Bean

My Mom’s Fucking Advice Was Way Off

Mom: …and you have to hold my hand before we go out into the street.
Little girl: Best fucking advice ever. –106th & Broadway Overheard by: djlindee

Faith Isn’t Quite Brain Surgery

Guy: How can you believe in God? You’ve never seen him.
Girl: Well, I believe you have a brain though I’ve never seen it! –F train

This Book’s Really Shitty

Mom: You couldn’t even wait ’til we got to the bathroom.
Little boy: I told you.
Mom: You know you coulda held it. –Barnes & Noble, Union Square Overheard by: Ben Couch

This Protractor’s Really Shitty

Guy #1: Ever notice you can’t fart on these subway seats?
Guy #2: I think it’s the angle; I’ve had that problem before. –4 train Overheard by: Mike

This Cummerbund’s Really Shitty

Guy: Why are you wearing tuxedo pants?
Jon Stewart: I want to raise my baby formally. It’s black tie in the
house. –Daily Show studios, 51st & 11th Overheard by: Jess McGins

These Seats Are Really Shitty

Woman: Excuse me, where’s the restroom?
Usher guy: Sixth seat on the right, ma’am. –Eugene O’Neill Theater, West 49th Street

Talk About Hitting the Right Note

Guy #1: Shouldn’t you guys be out looking for jobs instead of practicing four part harmonies?
Songbo: Shouldn’t you be sucking his dick?
Guy #2: He does have a point. –R train