Chick: I wanna get some juice.
Guy: What juice?
Chick: POM juice.
Guy: Oh, please.
Chick: What’s wrong with POM juice?
Guy: It tastes like pussy.
Chick: Like my pussy?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Archive for February, 2006
Prostate Cancer?
Girl #1: Sara, everything’s not about you.
Girl #2: Everything’s relevant to me.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Trix
He Should Be Getting Her Drunk
Man: Do you work or go to school?
JAP: I work.
Man: Really? Because you look young.
JAP: How old do you think I am?
Man: 19?
JAP: Do you really think you should be hitting on a 19 year old girl?
–Falucka, Bleecker Street
Meanwhile, Mary Jo Looks Like Two-Face
Woman #1: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Amy Fisher?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Well, you do. I mean what she did was wrong and all, but she was a beautiful woman, so are you.
–6 train
She Hails from Crawfordheim
Vendor guy: Do you like manga? Have you heard of yaoi?
Woman: I’m sorry. I’m German. I’m a little retarded when it comes to language.
–Jacob Javits Center
Sorry, the Evil Priest Positions Have Been Filled
Woman #1: I’ve been thinking lately that I want to be a gynecologist.
Woman #2: That’d be so cute! You could deliver babies and everything!
Woman #1: Oh. Well. Actually, I don’t really like children. I mean, I’d be willing to kill them, but I wouldn’t really want to deliver them…
–Nevada Smith’s, 3rd Avenue
Meet Katrina Levy
Drunk girl #1: I have so many beads.
Drunk girl #2: Stop showing your tits!
Drunk girl #1: I can’t!
–Mars 2112 ladies’ room, 51st & Broadway
Overheard by: Lauren Lerner
She’s Calling It Rape Now?
Suit #1: So, they fired everyone in your department, but they offered you to stick around for two months and help them with the transition period?
Suit #2: Yeah, they said that there was a very good chance they would keep me on a permanent basis if everything went well.
Suit #1: And you said…
Suit #2: I told them to go fuck themselves. I mean, you can’t come into my house, rape my mother, and then expect me to go out drinking with you.
–3 train
Overheard by: J.J. Taveras
“I can’t read Arabic.”
Woman: I want to report that there is a drawing of Hitler at the bottom of these stairs.
MTA lady: Well, is there anything anti-Semitic written with the drawing?
–225th Street 1 station
Overheard by: adam
Who’s Your Daddy?
Man: Ay, Mami, looking good today…
Woman: Can’t you see I am with my son?
Little boy: You’re his mommy too?
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Constantino