Archive for February, 2006

She’s Calling It Rape Now?

Suit #1: So, they fired everyone in your department, but they offered you to stick around for two months and help them with the transition period?
Suit #2: Yeah, they said that there was a very good chance they would keep me on a permanent basis if everything went well.
Suit #1: And you said…
Suit #2: I told them to go fuck themselves. I mean, you can’t come into my house, rape my mother, and then expect me to go out drinking with you. –3 train Overheard by: J.J. Taveras

That’s Being Chi-curious

Girl #1: Wow. Akiva Goldsmith’s really made something for himself…for a Jew.
Girl #2: God you’re a racist.
Girl #1: What makes me a racist? I’m part Jewish.
Girl #2: An hour ago you asked me why all Asians look the same. –Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street Overheard by: Pop Iris

Until He Changed His Name at Tisch

Conductor: The man in the yellow hat, please get off the train. We
don’t take passengers at Fordham.
Woman: Isn’t that Curious George’s owner? –Metro-North

I’m Thinking Tisch

Girl: How do you like NYU so far?
Guy: I like it a lot.
Girl: So, are you at least bi-curious yet? –8th & Broadway Overheard by: Kelvin M Loh Guy: Hey, I haven’t seen you in, like, two years.
Girl #1: Yeah, not since that time we made out at Cristina’s party…then you went to Paris.
Guy: …I’m gay now.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #2: NYU boys should really come with warning labels. –Waverly Building elevator, Waverly Place

There’s Plenty of Ass in the Mirror

Teen guy: You owe me a buck, I didn’t complain about gettin’ no ass all day.
Teen girl: How about a blowjob instead?
Teen guy: You serious?
Teen girl: Sure…
Teen guy: I bet you wouldn’t be good anyways. It’s a whole dollar.
Teen girl: Well, you missed out…
Teen guy: How about you come to my roof sometime?
Teen girl: Man-whore.
Teen guy: You can’t call me that, I haven’t gotten any ass in months.
Teen girl: Ha, ha. I get more ass than you! –E train Overheard by: teenagersarefunny

Still Not Ready to Make a Commitment

Girl: Why don’t you just make a list of things I need to change about myself so I can be more like you?
Guy: Okay, let’s start with your tooth brushing. How about rinsing off the toothbrush before you put it back into the cabinet so there is not old toothpaste and spit dripping off of it? And how about rinsing after you brush?
Girl: Anything else?
Guy: No, I think that’s the only thing you need to change about yourself. –88th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Bill

The Dead Don’t Cry on Their LiveJournal

Girl #1: You should see this guy. He’s like the reincarnation of Gerard Way.
Girl #2: Gerard Way’s not dead.
Girl #1: He’s emo. He’s dead inside. –E train

Nah, He Never Needs to Transfer

God Squad lady: Jesus is coming! Jesus is coming!
Girl: Well, is he going to be getting off the S train? ‘Cause I’ll just meet him there. –Port Authority

Head You Win, Tail You Win

Hobo #1: Penny for the homeless?
Hobo #2: You’ve got to be universal, you can’t just ask the pretty women. –14th & Broadway Overheard by: Joe Q