Archive for March, 2006

Because That’s Not Paying Enough to Live There

Guy: I’m going to Chicago this weekend.
Girl: Jealous.
Guy: Want me to bring you back a hot dog?
Girl: Minus the dog.
Guy: Polish sausage?
Girl: Vegetarian.
Guy: Sausage pizza? Italian sausage? Sausage smoothie?
Girl: Totally.
Guy: Why doesn’t someone open a sausage smoothie store in Chicago? They’d be a millionaire. –F train

Howie Mandel in 5 Years

Girl #1: I don’t understand why he’s so popular.
Girl #2: It’s obviously because he’s a drug dealer. –Broadway between Grand & Howard Dealer guy: Hey man, buy some weed?
Yuppie guy: Sure. And while I’m at it, why don’t I just not send my
kids to school, get them addicted to heroin, and leave them on the
street to die?
Dealer guy: You sure you don’t want some weed? –Washington Square Park

No Shit?

Teen boy #1: Yo son, butt sex mad disgusting.
Teen boy #2: No, it ain’t. If she shit before you do it you won’t get no poop on yo dick.
Teen boy #1: Pfft. They always be shit in her ass even if she shits.
Teen boy #2: Nah, son.
Teen boy #1: When you pull the mushroom out there gonna be shit under it.
Teen boy #2: Ha, ha, ha! No, it ain’t…Ask her about it. –R train Overheard by: Evan Walsh