Archive for April, 2006

They Have 400 Words for “Tan”

Girl: I don’t look like an Eskimo, I have a tan.
Guy: I thought Eskimos were darker skinned.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: I thought Eskimos were darker. I think their skin is darker.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: I think they have darker skin.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: Anyway I think it’d be funny to see you in an igloo. –2/3 train

High Schools

Girl #1: You gotta figure out what you’re gonna study in college. you oughta check out this holistic college, ya know, for holistic medicine?
Girl #2: Yeah, like holistic medicine?
Girl #1: It’s a two-year program to get certified and it’s all hippies who are all potted up so you don’t have to do anything.
Girl #2: You mean, like “sit on this crystal and write a paper about it.”
Girl #1: Ha ha! Yeah, so then you’re certified. You oughta do that.
Girl #2: Maybe I’ll be a pilot. –N train

Secrets of Pick-Up Artists

Drunk guy: Lemme get a bacon, egg, and cheese.
Cashier: Sorry, we don’t have bacon.
Drunk guy: Can I have it on a bagel then?
Cashier: That’s not the problem. We don’t have any bacon.
Drunk guy: Can I just have a bacon, egg and cheese?
Cashier: Sir, there is no bacon, ok?
Drunk guy: Can I just have your number then? –Dunkin’ Donuts, 83rd St. Overheard by: Maunica