Man: Hi…Nice to see you again.
Woman: Hi.
Man: How’s your Prius?
–Broadway & 8th during Anti-War Rally
Overheard by: Joey Gillis
Archive for April, 2006
But Where Can I Buy a Man at This Time of Night?
Woman holding flowers: How much are these?
Vendor: Eight dollars.
Woman: Eight dollars? That is ridiculous!
Vendor: Well maybe you should stop buying yourself flowers and get a man to buy them for you.
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
They Have 400 Words for “Tan”
Girl: I don’t look like an Eskimo, I have a tan.
Guy: I thought Eskimos were darker skinned.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: I thought Eskimos were darker. I think their skin is darker.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: I think they have darker skin.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: Anyway I think it’d be funny to see you in an igloo.
–2/3 train
Too Much Information Even for Us
Woman: Oh my God, is there a bathroom at the next stop? I just felt the rumblings of the Communist invasion, and I’m less than prepared.
Man: Fucking tourist.
–F train
Overheard by: Rachel Bloch
Actually, I’ll Be Driving. You’ll Be Walking.
Guy #1: I know, I need to get my license.
Guy #2: Son, I’m telling you when you get that shit you’ll be walking along like you are King Jafee-Jafee of Zamundo.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Matthew Innes
Thinks Ella Fitzgerald Wrote The Great Gatsby
Tourist #1: You know that song that Billy Strayhorn wrote, called “Take The A Train”? He wrote it about taking the A train up to Harlem, and then he gave it to Duke Ellington. The rest is history.
Tourist #2: Who’s Duke Ellington?
Tourist #1: Never mind!
–A train
High Schools
Girl #1: You gotta figure out what you’re gonna study in college. you oughta check out this holistic college, ya know, for holistic medicine?
Girl #2: Yeah, like holistic medicine?
Girl #1: It’s a two-year program to get certified and it’s all hippies who are all potted up so you don’t have to do anything.
Girl #2: You mean, like “sit on this crystal and write a paper about it.”
Girl #1: Ha ha! Yeah, so then you’re certified. You oughta do that.
Girl #2: Maybe I’ll be a pilot.
–N train
Secrets of Pick-Up Artists
Drunk guy: Lemme get a bacon, egg, and cheese.
Cashier: Sorry, we don’t have bacon.
Drunk guy: Can I have it on a bagel then?
Cashier: That’s not the problem. We don’t have any bacon.
Drunk guy: Can I just have a bacon, egg and cheese?
Cashier: Sir, there is no bacon, ok?
Drunk guy: Can I just have your number then?
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 83rd St.
Overheard by: Maunica
Kate Moss Has Moved on to Formaldehyde
Chick: I’ve always wanted to try coke.
Guy: It’s not that good, but I hear heroin’s great.
–Alligator Lounge
Not As Good As He Is
Twentysomething girl #1: Why didn’t you go in his room and see if he was home?
Twentysomething girl #2: So I could go in there and see him with his dick out? Porn all over the place, passed out like he exhausted himself? I’m good. No thanks.
–33rd St. PATH train
Overheard by: Teen