Archive for April, 2006

I Told You Hobos Can’t Close

Homeless man: Can anyone spare some change for a homeless man? Can anyone spare a penny, nickel, or dime? Penny, nickel, or dime? Subway doors close. Homeless man: Oh, shit, wait, I got to get off this train! Get out of my way! Subway rider: You’re not going to get much with that sales pitch. –N train, Queensborough Plaza Overheard by: Josh Shurtleff

Hobos Just Can’t Close

Realtor guy:…and the area is really gentrifying quite nicely…very safe. The people from the projects never come over to this side of the neighborhood, so it’s a great place to raise a family. Homeless passerby pushing a wheelbarrow full of junk: Could you folks help me out with some money to buy food? Give me money. I haven’t eaten in three days. Realtor guy: Sorry, I… I work on commission. [To his clients]
This happens even in Cobble Hill. The husband and wife walk towards their car. Homeless guy: Come on man, I’m hungry! Realtor guy: Fuck you, you just cost me a commission! –Dwight & Dikeman, Red Hook Overheard by: Paul J. Pinizzotto