Archive for April, 2006

I Hope She’s Adopting

Girl #1: Should I have my baby shower before or after my wedding?
Girl #2: You’d better have it before. You’re going to be really drunk after your wedding.
Girl #1: Yeah, good point. Well, one of them is going to be in July, I know that for sure. –The Dollar Store Overheard by: Kim Forbes

It Took You a Whole Hour?

Tall guy: Dude I swear to god, I was on my bed with this mad hot chick and we were making out for like a whole hour…
Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?
Tall guy: No…you don’t understand…I was feeling her down there, and she…duuuuuude…she had a cock! Pause Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in? –L’Express Overheard by: John Eckstein

Sounds Like a Nice Druish Boy

Girl #1: I think true love is when you know someone isn’t perfect but you still think they are.
Girl #2: I thought love was when you could still feel butterflies in your heart even after he tells you he thinks he’s an elf.
Girl #1: I keep forgetting that actually happened.
Girl #2: Yeah, and not to you.
Girl #1: Yeah, I don’t know how I would have taken it. –58th & 5th

Wednesday One-liners: Not Ready for the Olympics

Parking garage attendant: I ain’t even playin’. This is not a game. I can eat the pussy for three hours. Straight. –12th St. between 7th & 8th Ave, Park Slope Guy: If you were playing Risk, and you were Charles Darwin, would you place all of your armies on the Galapagos Islands? –91st & Columbus Overheard by: John Bardes

Gratuitous Wednesday One-liners About Penises

Toddler girl: Penis! –The Time Warner Center Overheard by: Ally Guy talking to two male friends: Shut up! Shut the fuck up! If you don’t want to put your dick in my mouth, that’s OK, but shut up! –Downtown A train platform, W. 4th St Overheard by: miss professor Hipster guy on phone: No, no, no, no that is the sound that they said my penis made when it died. –Morgan & Grattan, East Williamsburg