Woman looking at statue: Did Columbus even make it to Manhattan? –Columbus Circle Tourist guy: Lots of people, smells really bad… It’s just like I always imagined. –Times Square Overheard by: Lauren
Archive for May, 2006
Wednesday One-liners, Altered States
Queer to hippie chick: I read what you wrote, and it totally made me want to do mushrooms with you. –T Salon Emporium, 20th & Broadway Girl: I wish I could bleach my brain. –F train Overheard by: Braincurve
Wednesday One-Liners, the City and the Country
Woman: I find the suburbs to be extremely frightening. I know they all have air conditioning, but still…
–6 train
Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad…I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you’ll like living in New York.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Wednesday One-liners, Baby Chic
Casting person: Ok, here’s the problem, they don’t wan’t a baby with a huge head compared to his chest, nor do they want to see gross veins all over its chest. They want the fucking Gerber baby, ok? –38th between 7th & 8th Friend to new mother with infant: All babies look great in black. Did you know that? –Madison & 91st Overheard by: Kelly Smith Woman: Actually, now that they’ve started talking, the twins are much less creepy. –Central Park
Wednesday One-liners, Summer Makeover Special
Man on cell: I love you baby, but I just can’t be looking at your face everyday like that. –Union Square Guy to friend: She had that ugly-ass quality about her. –Union Square Overheard by: Sarah
Wednesday One-liners May Need a Catheter
Black guy to his dad: You have to help me. My cock is turning into one of those fucking curly fries. –71st & Continental Woman: So I told him, if that’s the urethra you got the wrong hole. –115th & Broadway
Wednesday One-liners Pick You Up
Very old homeless woman to sleeping homeless man: You don’t even know how good looking you are! –28th & 3rd Overheard by: juju Little boy: I want your DNA. –Metro-North train Overheard by: Helen V.
Good Christian Wednesday One-liners
Ghetto teen: If Jesus was with you, he’d smack you over the head and call you a dick! –A train Overheard by: Josh Jasper Girl to friends: Do either of you have a really nice picture of Jesus? I need to make an ashtray. –7th & A Overheard by: Ty!
Wednesday One-liners Are Made to Last
Guy: I mean, why spend my money to put up bail when she’s just going to wind up doing time anyway? –B train Overheard by: Dianora Chick on cell: The thing is, he doesn’t freeze meat. Yeah, it’s an issue. –22nd & 8th Overheard by: Sebastian White
Wednesday One-liners Want Sexual Healing
Hipster on cell: You make me so horny I want to split a tab of xstacy and shove it up your ass. –11th & 2nd Guy trying to whisper to girlfriend in line: Do not make me freak you this early in the morning. –Post office, Park Slope Chick on cell: …so not only am I self-medicating through random sexual encounters… –In front of Barnes & Noble , Union Square Overheard by: Carol Chick to friends: He was like, “Say you love me. Say my name. Say, ‘I love you John*!’ And I was like, “Can we just concentrate on the task at hand, here?” –Lafayette & Bond Overheard by: jayloo