Archive for May, 2006

Wednesday One-liners Make Me Sick

Black lady: I don’t eat fried food. Grease is the enemy. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I wanted fried food all the time. This one day, I left work to go eat some fried fish, and I ate it. And I stayed there. And you know what happened? The grease came up and the fish stayed down. –Precious Nails, 94th & 3rd Suit #1 to suit #2: We can do whatever you want today. I just don’t like the stuff you make me do that makes me throw up. –AJ Maxwell’s, 48th & 6th Overheard by: their waitress

Lion Alert Level: Yellow

Little girl, loudly: ROAR!
Little girl’s dad: Leslie, stop it, you’re scaring the people.
Little girl, quietly: Roar…
Little girl’s dad: Very nice Les, scare them subtly. –Payless, 225th & Broadway Overheard by: NARS

They Have to Work Harder to Screw You During the Summer

Female student: Do you guys have any empty boxes that I could possibly have?
Clerk: No, I’m sorry.
Female student: What about all of those empty boxes over there?
Clerk: We sell boxes, so we’re not allowed to give out boxes for free.
Female student: Okay. How much are the boxes you’re selling?
Clerk: Actually, we’re sold out.
Female student: Okay, if you don’t have any more boxes for sale, can I have some of those empty boxes over there?
Clerk: No. –Columbia University Bookstore, 115th & Broadway Overheard by: djlindee