Black lady: I don’t eat fried food. Grease is the enemy. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I wanted fried food all the time. This one day, I left work to go eat some fried fish, and I ate it. And I stayed there. And you know what happened? The grease came up and the fish stayed down. –Precious Nails, 94th & 3rd Suit #1 to suit #2: We can do whatever you want today. I just don’t like the stuff you make me do that makes me throw up. –AJ Maxwell’s, 48th & 6th Overheard by: their waitress
Girl on cell: It’s Fleet Week here, so I’m getting laid. –47th & Broadway Overheard by: Rachel Girl to sailor: Well, without your hat you’re fucking ugly! –MacDougal & Bleeker
Girl #1: What’s with all the little white men?
Girl #2: The Navy guys?
Girl #1: White, Jesus.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: In those little costumes… don’t you just want to jump them? –34th & Lexington Overheard by: love them sailors
Little girl, loudly: ROAR!
Little girl’s dad: Leslie, stop it, you’re scaring the people.
Little girl, quietly: Roar…
Little girl’s dad: Very nice Les, scare them subtly. –Payless, 225th & Broadway Overheard by: NARS
Conductor #1: Uh, Jack?
Conductor #2: Yeah Joe.
Conductor #1: We need to stop.
Conductor #2: Stop? What do you mean stop?! We’re in the middle of a tunnel!
Conductor #1: A door just opened.
Conductor #2: What the….. –N train Overheard by: melissa
Man on a park bench #1: Betcha never seen a dandelion turn from yellow to white. Even catch one half-way in between.
Man on a park bench #2: Betcha ain’t never seen no baby pigeons. Ain’t noboby never seen no baby pigeons. See all them big fat ones? Where’s the babies at? –Central Park
Really trendy girl #1: So do you want to go tanning after the gym?
Really trendy girl #2: Yeah, but I don’t want to get skin cancer.
Really trendy girl #1: Yeah, me neither. That’s why I wear underwear. –42nd & Lex Overheard by: Just wanted some starbucks
Teen girl #1: Is Mr. Parker* here today?
Teen girl #2: No, I think he was deported on Friday. –Midwood High School, Brooklyn
Orthodox woman, holding bag of almond meal: What do you mean it’s not kosher?
Grocer person: Well, if it doesn’t have a kosher symbol I would assume that means that it isn’t kosher.
Woman: Does it have a kosher symbol?
Grocer, politely: You have the bag in your hand, miss. Does it have a kosher symbol?
Woman: No it doesn’t. Why do you not carry kosher almond meal? I have been buying this for years and now you tell me it’s not kosher.
Grocer: I can only guess that the reason we don’t carry it is that then people like you would shop here. –Trader Joe’s, Union Square Overheard by: matthew andrew pryatel
Tourist lady: Excuse me, is this Central Park?
New York man: Uh, yes, this is.
Tourist lady: Are you sure? It seems a little off-center to me. –Central Park Overheard by: Off-center Dog Walker