Archive for May, 2006

You Know, After Babe-a-Ganouj Goes Under

Dude: I’d like to invite you to take part in my new venture. I call it Kebabes.
Chick: What is it?
Dude: It’s like a kebab joint but with sexy ladies.

–In line at Quo, 28th & 10th

Overheard by: Anisha & Meg
Headline by: Laura C
Runners-Up:
· But She’s Already Working at Falafellatio – Momolo
· Not for Humusexuals – ndsd1

Honorable Mentions:
· Well, It’s Better Than Kebabies – Matthew H
· Insert Skewer Joke Here….. – Tim White
· That’s Just Falawful – Chris Cunnyngham
· Turkish Delight! – Hobo Whisperer
· They’ve Got Great Hummus, Too – Anonymous
· Meat Marketing? – Xana
· I Knew I Looked Succulent Today… – Sarah
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

It’s Called Jaws Unlocked

Older black gentleman in suit: Hey man, can you help me out?
Arab guy in limo smiles and says nothing.
Black man: I’m, uh, I’m lookin’ for someone to go home with tonight. ‘Cause I’m a gay guy, see. Well, I mean, I’m kind of a swing guy. I like to, uh… ascend to different levels.
Hipster guy walking past: What is it, like, a video game?
Black guy: Yeah! Yeah, baby, it’s a video game. ‘Cept when I win… I fuck you. –44th & 6th Overheard by: Peebs

She’s a Vegan — Pass the Cheesecake

Girl #1: So I was thinking about milk the other day. Milk comes from cows. And what do cows eat?
Girl #2: Other cows?
Girl #1: No, dumbass! They eat grass! So it stands to reason, when you drink milk, you’re actually drinking liquified grass.
Girl #2: Ugh, gross! I’m so not drinking milk anymore.
Girl #1: Totally, that’s why I drink soy. –Veniero’s, 11th St & 1st Ave

Just Get Him Sauced and Toss Him in the Broiler

Obnoxious white lawyer to his China doll date: We’ll have unaju. I think unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river.
Obnoxious white laywer to the Japanese sushi chef: We’ll have unaju. Is it true that unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river?
Japanese sushi chef nods politely.
Obnoxious white lawyer to his China doll date: Did you hear that? Unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river. –Shimizu, W 51st & 8th Ave Overheard by: Asian American couple who had to deal with this all night long