Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade. –Reade St Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is? –cafe, Empire State Building Overheard by: dogstar
Chubby guy: Hey! Show me your boobs! No, not the girl. I’m gay, I want to see your man boobs! Come on, show me your boobs! –Outside Chipotle, 8th St. Queer: I remember back when I was having orgies with, like, 15 or 20 people. And I was having a lot of fun! –17th & 7th Overheard by: Sofia
Girl: Hey, I like your hair.
Mohawked guy: People often ask me “What is your hair?” and I say, “What is Dada?” –MoMA Overheard by: rebecca
Hobo: I wish my girlfriend was here! We went to the supermarket fifteen years ago, and she never came back. “I’ll be right back,” she said, but she never came back! Sixteen years, and I’m giving up. –64th & Broadway Overheard by: Ash
Girl #1: How are you so fucking skinny!? All I see you do is eat, eat, and eat some fucking more! We just came from Dunkin fucking Donuts where you had a bagel and a fucking muffin! Now you’re eating fucking chocolate! How are you so fucking skinny!? You’re a fucking freak of nature!
Girl #2: Yo, shut the fuck up or I’ll vomit all over your fat ass! –Q88 bus Overheard by: Jackie
Drunk white man: Hey, sir. “Knish” is spelled wrong.
Indian cashier: What?
Drunk white man: The food behind the case here. You spelled “knish” wrong, and I’ve told you guys before and it still hasn’t been fixed. Look, buddy, I’ve come in here ten times in the last week. I’ve told three other employees that the spelling is wrong, and next time I come in here it better be spelled right or the Jews are gonna come kill you. Drunk white man storms out. Indian cashier: That man is fucking crazy. It’s knish. Is it even spelled wrong?
Woman: No. He just forgot to take his meds and now the Jews are gonna come and kill you. And by “the Jews” he means himself. –Organic food store, 19th & 3rd Overheard by: Boo Radley
Girl: I accidentally got on at the wrong station and my card says “just used.” Could you let me through?
MTA employee: You broke the rules. Do you think it’s okay to break the rules where you work?
Girl: I’m sorry?
MTA employee: Oh, you must think you’re special. Guess what? You’re not.
Girl: My mom says I’m special. –Bergen St. subway, Brooklyn
Limo driver: Here you go, sir.
Donald Trump: Is this the Mercrdes one I wanted?
Limo driver: No, sir, it is a Buick.
Donald Trump: Well, I’ll ride in it this time, but next time it better be a Mercedes. I have class. –Trump Building, Pine & Wall
Guy, pushing on the door between cars: Can you not go between cars when it’s moving?
Old lady: It’s not the subway. You have to pull. Guy pulls hard on the handle. Old lady: Turn and pull.
Guy, passing through the door, shouts back loudly over his shoulder: So I push the next one? –Metro-North, Harlem Line
Male intellectual: I was put in a mental hospital when I was fifteen. I still don’t know why. I asked a doctor at one point, “Why am I here?” and he said, “Don’t worry about it. You’re very mentally ill, and it will take you a long time to recover.” I said, “But what am I recovering from?” and he just said, “Don’t worry about it.” I still don’t know why I was there. The only reason I can think of is, I have a terrible temper.
Female intellectual: Yes, but sweetie, your temper? It’s abnormal. It’s not like a human temper. It’s insane.
Male intellectual: Well, maybe, but it’s not like I blew up the World Trade Center. –Cafe Henri, Long Island City