Hipster: Aren’t you some kind of traitor? You’re going to film grad school, and you saw Click on opening night? –Mondo Kim’s, St. Mark’s Place Usher: All ticket holders, please enter the theater. We will not start ’til everyone is seated in your box-office, uh, thing you sit in. –New York Public Theatre
Bartender: I have absolutely no desire to go to work and make ginger cosmos for a bunch of proud gays. –Montague & Henry Foreign guy: He’s not gay. He’s almost gay. He spends most of his time with a lot of gay actors. But he’s not really gay. –Stairs of the Met Overheard by: wankerbob
Young guy: I was in a spaceship speaking Arabic. –Chambers & Broadway White guy on cell: You’re Japanese. You should like Swiss. –Penn Station Overheard by: Lizzerd
Guy on cell: And you got the vampires from where? –21st & 9th Rich young woman: She’s a big-time lawyer. You wouldn’t know her name or anything, but she’s got an office in Rochester, and one in the Twin Towers. –Metro-North train, Grand Central
Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade. –Reade St Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is? –cafe, Empire State Building Overheard by: dogstar
Chubby guy: Hey! Show me your boobs! No, not the girl. I’m gay, I want to see your man boobs! Come on, show me your boobs! –Outside Chipotle, 8th St. Queer: I remember back when I was having orgies with, like, 15 or 20 people. And I was having a lot of fun! –17th & 7th Overheard by: Sofia
Girl: Hey, I like your hair.
Mohawked guy: People often ask me “What is your hair?” and I say, “What is Dada?” –MoMA Overheard by: rebecca
Hobo: I wish my girlfriend was here! We went to the supermarket fifteen years ago, and she never came back. “I’ll be right back,” she said, but she never came back! Sixteen years, and I’m giving up. –64th & Broadway Overheard by: Ash
Girl #1: How are you so fucking skinny!? All I see you do is eat, eat, and eat some fucking more! We just came from Dunkin fucking Donuts where you had a bagel and a fucking muffin! Now you’re eating fucking chocolate! How are you so fucking skinny!? You’re a fucking freak of nature!
Girl #2: Yo, shut the fuck up or I’ll vomit all over your fat ass! –Q88 bus Overheard by: Jackie
Drunk white man: Hey, sir. “Knish” is spelled wrong.
Indian cashier: What?
Drunk white man: The food behind the case here. You spelled “knish” wrong, and I’ve told you guys before and it still hasn’t been fixed. Look, buddy, I’ve come in here ten times in the last week. I’ve told three other employees that the spelling is wrong, and next time I come in here it better be spelled right or the Jews are gonna come kill you. Drunk white man storms out. Indian cashier: That man is fucking crazy. It’s knish. Is it even spelled wrong?
Woman: No. He just forgot to take his meds and now the Jews are gonna come and kill you. And by “the Jews” he means himself. –Organic food store, 19th & 3rd Overheard by: Boo Radley