Archive for July, 2006

When He Drinks, the Human Torch Behaves Badly

Drunk guy: Hi, my name’s Bobby Flamer.
Girl: Haha, there’s no way your last name is really Flamer.
Drunk guy: No, seriously, look at my ID.
Girl, looking at ID: This says your name is Eric Flamer.
Drunk guy: Yeah. I lied.

–Bar None, 3rd Ave between 12th & 13th

Overheard by: Zak Santucci

How Do They Taste?

Hobo: Can anyone spare some change? Please, I’m homeless and hungry.
British tourist #1: Is that the same bloke from the earlier train?
British tourist #2: No, I think it’s a woman.
British tourist #1: Oh! Poor thing. I wish we had a brassiere to give her.

–F train

What Do You Think This Is, Tower Records?

Customer: Do you have the documentary on Marlene Dietrich made by
her nephew, David Riva?
Sales girl: Who’s that again?
Customer: Marlene Dietrich.
Sales girl: [blank look]
Customer: Come on, Dietrich!! You know, Garbo, Monroe, Dietrich…
the big ones.
Sales girl: Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t know everybody. –Virgin Megastore, Times Square Overheard by: Gladys M
Headline by: Steve
Runners-Up:
· “A Virgin employee apologizing… she must be new, she hasn’t grown a superiority complex yet” – Matthew McGuirl
· “Have you ever read anything by Seuss?” – Steve Harhart
· “He never could deliver a pick-up line without getting angry” – AK
· “I Need a Gay Male Employee at the Front Desk Please, a Gay Male Employee” – Jennifer Koretsky
· “I think she was in something with Tom Cruise…?” – Michelle
· “Plus he lost her at “documentary”" – Amy Stephenson
· “Sales clerk caught unaware of hip new trend called “History”" – Andy
· “She wears a nametag to satisfy her own curiosity” – Amanda
· “They’re Dead to Me” – Toby
· “Wait. . . Your’e Telling Me Stuff Happened Before I Was Born?” – DanC
Click here to see the new Headline Contest