Old Jewess on cell: Carla is going to be there, too…You’ve met Carla…You met her the other week. She was the one with the penis. –77th & 2nd Overheard by: Joseph Considerate guy: Hey, man, don’t burst his bubble. If it ain’t a man, it ain’t a man. –Outside 10th Precinct, W 20th St Voice on intercom: Sir, that’s the women’s restroom. Sir…Sir…Stop! –Times Square Drunk guy: Well, it was either a real ugly woman or a guy with man-boobs. –F train Drunk dude to girl: Wow, you’re the prettiest man I’ve ever seen. –Women’s bathroom, Saloon, 83rd & York Overheard by: Aaron Little girl, staring at the Statue of Liberty: Who’s he supposed to be? –Circle Line Overheard by: emily Young guy: …so, technically, I’m lactating. Technically. –Central Park
Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work. –Christopher & Bleecker Overheard by: J. Ann Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka. –106th & Columbus Overheard by: Shmoop Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you. –17th & 5th Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes. –Elevator, 120 Wall St Overheard by: Aubrie Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8. –1 train Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be. –Washington & Charles Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok. –Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam Overheard by: Susan Volchok
PETA activist: Excuse me, do you love animals?
Smart-Ass queer: Yes…They’re delicious.
PETA activist: Murderer!!
Overheard by: very entertained carnivore
Black guy #1, noticing white guy walking down the street: Aw, man!
Black guy #2: There goes the neighborhood.
White guy: This is the cheapest rent in the city. You better believe my people are going to start moving here.
–Franklin Ave, Brooklyn
Halter-Top #1, screaming into cell: We’re on 10th and One. One. One!
Halter-Top #2: Just tell him we’re at 10th and one!
Halter-Top #1: One! [Pause] Oh, First? Is that what it’s called?
–10th & 1st
Dental hygienist: What is your dissertation going to be on?
Grad student: The cultural barriers to health care for Mexican-born migrant farm workers.
Dental hygienist: How about the cultural barriers to health care for German-American dental hygienists with $2,500 deductables, instead?
Blonde model: I can’t believe she wants President Bush at her wedding!
Brunette model: I know. What if he says “nuc-u-lar” or something!?
Blonde model: Why would he say “nuc-u-lar” at a wedding?
Brunette model: Helloooo? Because he’s the President!
Blonde model: True…
–67th & Madison
Non-Ivy-Leaguer: So where do you go to school?
Non-Ivy-Leaguer: California? That’s awesome.
–5th Ave between 26th & 27th
Overheard by: Shocked Onlooker
Dumb blonde #1: Yeah, so, like, Photoshop is better for, like, for photos, and Illustrator is better for, like, illustrations, and InDesign is better for, like, designing stuff.
Dumb blonde #2: Wow, I could never be a graphics person; that’s so much software.
Dumb brunette: I could! I use Paint all the time!
Hipster #1: Man, she is so hot.
Hipster #2: Oh yeah.
Hipster #1: But sometimes she looks like a guy.
Hipster #2: True.
–Outside Shea Stadium