Hipster girl: I think he wanted to know if you were bisexual.
Hipster boy: Well, I prefer the term hetero-flexible.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Adrienne
Archive for October, 2006
She Fell Asleep Watching a Play Within a Play
Woman #1: I was dreaming that I was dreaming that I was awake but wanted to take a nap. So I did and I started dreaming. Then I woke up… but I was still asleep!
Woman #2: Wow.
–13th & University
Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Sympathy and A Skillful Segue is the Mark of a Successful Hobo
Columbia student: So I was dealing with all these peptide bonds and it was getting annoyingly complicated.
Hobo: Yo, I hate it when that happens! Got a quarter?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: SlickRicks
That and Your Music, of Course
Yuppie: Today was such an incredible day, I met Richard Branson, and…
Hipster: Who?
Yuppie: Oh, Fabian, that’s why I love you so much.
–Broadway & 28th
Get in Line, Buddy
Girl on cell: You don’t play with my tits enough! You just go right to it, and avoid the girls! I need some titty action!
Suit on cell, listening: I gotta go, I have to try to pick this girl up. I’ve never had a better come-on line in my life!
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: VERONICA
At the Time It Was Called “Separate but Equal Ed”
Girl: Have you ever realized that we didn’t have any black friends in elementary school?
Preppy friend: That’s because all the black kids were in special ed.
–Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Rivington St
Overheard by: Lauren C
More Detail Then?
College girl: My friend told me that if you join the Peace Corps, you’ve got to learn to skin and gut animals. Even if you are a vegetarian!
Redneck guy: I’ve gutted hundreds of animals.
College girl: I’m morally opposed to gutting animals. I only want to see chicken in Saran Wrap at the grocery store.
Redneck guy: I’ve gutted about 800 chickens, 200 ducks, 200 deer.
College girl: Please. I don’t want to hear about your animal gutting history any more than you want to hear about my sexual history.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Shy
It’s All About the Edjamins
Girl #1 on cell: So I freaked out as soon as I saw Ethan and… And… What’s his name, Bill?
Girl #2: Ben.
Girl #1 on cell: And Ted.
Girl #2: Ben
Girl #1: Ed.
Girl #2: Ben!
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Ben!
Girl #1 on cell: Well, Henry.
–5th Ave & 16th
Overheard by: in love with jack
Fucking Scoliosis Brace
Girl #1, looking at The L Word: God, I wish I was that girl, and could make out with girls.
Girl #2: Why don’t you make out with girls now?
Girl #1: I can’t! This body is straight!
–Virgin Megastore, Times Square
Overheard by: Angie
I Hope for More Enthusiasm at Tomorrow’s 17th Century Fashion Exhibit
Chic chick #1: Whenever I go to museums with Mike, he always acts like he doesn’t give a shit.
Chic chick #2: How so?
Chic chick #1: Like we went to this exhibit on 18th Century English fashion and he was just staring into space the whole time, not saying anything.
Chic chick #2: Weird.
–Clinton & Rivington
Overheard by: The Whyte Lyte