Archive for November, 2006

Most Places: Amen to That!

Woman: When I was a kid, we never called people ‘cunt.’ It wasn’t insulting enough. But if you called someone a ‘twat,’ now you’re using fighting words.
Man: But that’s not true most places.
Woman: Brooklyn’s not most places. –Starbucks, Astor Place

You’ll Never Be the Man Your Mother Was.

Girlfriend: You could just be gay.
Boyfriend: I don’t want to be gay! I just wanna be a woman. –Houston & Lafayette Headline by: Paul S Runners-Up: · “‘Cause surgery is easier than coming out” – Becky · “Be All You Can’t Be” – Mike D · “Cant have a man-made pussy and eat it, too” – N. Delwood · “Career day counselors never know what to expect” – peter · “It’s all pillow fights and boobies ’til you start PMSing.” – mthy · “Michael Jackson’s Cosmetic Surgery Consultation Gets Hostile” – kane, okc · “The long-awaited yet unanticipted answer to ‘Tell me what you want, what you really, really want'” – cinekat · “Transexual does not a homosexual make” – i like men too · “Vaginas: The Consolation Prize” – sh · “Your Phantom Limb Will Still Want To Stem The Rose” – elrobinder
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

And Once You Try It a Few Dozen Times on ‘The Sims,’ You’ll Be Ready to Try It in Real Life, Little Camper

Ladies’ man #1: So just bang her out, then.
Ladies’ man #2: After what she did to me, I don’t think I can just give that to her.
Ladies’ man #1: The man always has the upper hand — you should just bang her out and then call her the next day and be like, ‘Hey, do you have any cute friends you could hook me up with?’ You know, make her feel like shit. –Uptown A train Overheard by: JD

Wednesday One-Liners Will Do Anything to Get This Part

Girl: Seriously, I’d give, like, 20 blowjobs to get an apartment. –Barna, 26th & Park Overheard by: Greg Crazy guy: I gotta stop eating pussy. I’m losing my breath. –F train Girl to guy: If you don’t like oral sex, don’t open your mouth. –68th St station Overheard by: liza Guy defending self to group of friends: I’ve tasted pussy! –Chelsea Overheard by: Reina Guy on cell: Which one? Me sucking dick or San Francisco? –Wagner College, Staten Island Teen girl: I need balls in my mouth. –Disney Store, 5th Ave Overheard by: Gin Ghetto teen: And so she was suckin’ my dick, and there was a 10 dollar bill on the table, and — get this — when she stopped suckin’, it was gone! Bitch took my money! –Fulton Mall, Brooklyn Overheard by: djingo