Archive for November, 2006

Most Places: Amen to That!

Woman: When I was a kid, we never called people ‘cunt.’ It wasn’t insulting enough. But if you called someone a ‘twat,’ now you’re using fighting words.
Man: But that’s not true most places.
Woman: Brooklyn’s not most places.

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Thank You, Come Again!

Black customer: Give me a yellow cash card, my brother.
Middle Eastern owner: What’d you call me?
Black customer: I said ‘my brother.’
Middle Eastern owner: No, no, no. We are different.
Black customer: No, we’re not — we all come from the same place. We have the same blood.
Middle Eastern owner: No, your blood is black — your blood is shit.
Black customer: No, my blood is blue just like yours. Besides, if I don’t come here to your store to spend money, how are you going to afford the bombs to blow up buildings?

–488 Madison Ave

You’ll Never Be the Man Your Mother Was.

Girlfriend: You could just be gay.
Boyfriend: I don’t want to be gay! I just wanna be a woman.


–Houston & Lafayette


Headline by: Paul S


Runners-Up:
· “‘Cause surgery is easier than coming out” – Becky
· “Be All You Can’t Be” – Mike D
· “Cant have a man-made pussy and eat it, too” – N. Delwood
· “Career day counselors never know what to expect” – peter
· “It’s all pillow fights and boobies ’til you start PMSing.” – mthy
· “Michael Jackson’s Cosmetic Surgery Consultation Gets Hostile” – kane, okc
· “The long-awaited yet unanticipted answer to ‘Tell me what you want, what you really, really want’” – cinekat
· “Transexual does not a homosexual make” – i like men too
· “Vaginas: The Consolation Prize” – sh
· “Your Phantom Limb Will Still Want To Stem The Rose” – elrobinder




Click here to see the new Headline Contest

And Once You Try It a Few Dozen Times on ‘The Sims,’ You’ll Be Ready to Try It in Real Life, Little Camper

Ladies’ man #1: So just bang her out, then.
Ladies’ man #2: After what she did to me, I don’t think I can just give that to her.
Ladies’ man #1: The man always has the upper hand — you should just bang her out and then call her the next day and be like, ‘Hey, do you have any cute friends you could hook me up with?’ You know, make her feel like shit.

–Uptown A train

Overheard by: JD