Archive for November, 2006

Bow, a Beer, a Redneck Beer; Ray, Your Incest-Begotten Son…

Hick tourist #1: Why don’t we get off at the next stop… Bow Ray? Bow Ray?
Hick tourist #2: Bowery.

–Brooklyn-bound J train, approaching Canal St

Overheard by: there’s no e in tracy

Headline by: Jatmos

· “1 child left behind” – Reekuhhhh!
· “And ‘SoHo’ Has a Whole Other Meaning Once You’ve Crossed the Mason-Dixon” – julietaroja
· “From the people who brought you nuc-u-lar” – Krisztina
· “Hicked on Phonics did not work at all” – Darvio Harvo
· “If at first you don’t succeed, try the exact same thing again” – Nathan Logan
· “It’s never too early for a Steve Irwin joke.” – hauptman
· “Same situation, but the passerby would call them “Cletus”” – Julie
· “They should probably take off those white hoods before stepping foot in the poetry club.” – erak
· “Tomato, tomater” – Lennyb
· “That sounds kinda gay, Cletus.” – Rich Anderson
· “Why didn’t we let them secede again?” – Nathaniel

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Sadly, the G Train Community Never Fully Accepted Him Again

Hammered 20-year-old, screaming: Yo, I fucked my boss! Yo, I fucked my boss! You ever fuck your boss? [Points to friend] He had to fuck some fat chick and I got my dick sucked all night by my boss! Yo, and she’s, like, 30. [Starts humping pole] She was like, ‘Uhhh, Jim*, give it to me! Fuck me harder!’

He falls on the floor, rolling around with more manic laughter.

Friend: Yo, shut up. I gotta take this train when I’m sober.

–G train

Overheard by: Please don’t look

This Is the Line Vader Should Have Taken with Luke

Black dude on cell: So I got her pregnant. And she wanted me to care and shit, and I was like, ‘I’m a street nigga!’ And you know what I’m sayin’, ’cause you’re one, too. I didn’t want to be a father. I even told my son, straight-up! She was some nasty shit — all mugly in the face; body all fucked-up. But yeah, I was lacing that shit all the way through 1982! Okay, peace out, man.

–E train

It’s a Koan

Kid: I’ve never been to New York City before!
Mom: You live in New York City. This is Manhattan, but you live in New York City.
Kid: Well, I mean I’ve never been to New York City before.

–42nd & 8th Ave