College chick throwing down Waiting for Godot: I just don’t get this play at all.
College dude: You want me to teach you to play Minesweeper?
–JFK
Archive for December, 2006
Oh. My. God.
Camp leader: Okay, everyone. I think we should all meet at five behind the naked cowboy.
New Yorker camper: John, the naked cowboy is a man.
–LIRR
But It Sounds More Suave When You’re Talking to a Logger
Chick: I really have a thing for my TA. I think he’s into me. Like, he’s giving off all these signs.
Dude: You should totally go up to him and ask if you can see his wood.
Chick: You know, I’ve done something like that before.
–NYU Route B bus
Overheard by: crackin’ up
See How You’re Not Any Brighter?
Flight attendant on intercom: If you need any additional lighting, just reach up and press the grey button above your seat.
Passenger presses the ‘Call attendant’ button.
Flight attendant: That wasn’t the grey button.
–JFK
I Keep Letting Them Bite
30-ish lady #1: Did you talk to your therapist about bedbugs?
30-ish lady #2: I only talk to my therapist about bedbugs.
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: K
I’ll Probably Cancel My Gourmet Subscription
Chick #1: I’m starving.
Chick #2: I haven’t eaten all day.
Chick #1: Do you have issues with food?
Chick #2: No, not really. Well, I tried throwing up after eating for a while, but I wasn’t really into it.
Chick #1: So, what do you do now?
Chick #2: I just don’t eat.
–Cafe at Bloomingdale’s
I Thought It Was a Finless Porpoise
College chick #1: It can’t be a muscle. It’s not a bicep.
College chick #2: Yeah, but the heart is a muscle, and the heart is an organ. It’s both.
College dude: It’s an organ. That’s why people always say, ‘He put his organ in her.’ [Passerby turns to look at them] See, that’s why I didn’t want to talk about this.
–50th St & Lex
Overheard by: Ben
So Probably Was Just Very Tan
Black New Yorker guy and two white tourist ladies have a lengthy conversation about different places to visit in NYC.
Black guy: Okay, ladies, this is my stop. Bye!
White tourist lady #1: Bye! Have a great day! [To friend, as man departs at Astor Place] I didn’t feel threatened by him at all. He was actually a very nice man.
–6 train
Though Highly Charged, Peter Proton Was a Terrible Speller
Girl: Are you sure?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Are you really sure?
Guy: Positive. P-O-S-O-T-O-V-E.
–Tiemann Pl & Claremont Ave
Overheard by: FriedF
Thank You Very Much, I’ll Be Here until Thursday
Angry rider after missing a stop: Why can’t you just pull over? You was only like this far away?
Bus driver: I can only stop at designated stops, I’m sorry.
Angry rider: You could have stopped, you just wanted to be a dick.
Bus driver: Yeah, you would know — you suck enough of it.
–BX9 bus
Overheard by: Don’t know much about it