Archive for 2006

Marilyn Munster Explained

Man: But I’m just not attracted to you. You’re like a sister to me.
Woman: But I’m not your sister. And besides, you know, me and my sister fooled around when we were little.
Man: Hmmm, let’s see. After this we could go get a drink, or I could go home and think about how much I’m not attracted to you…
Woman: I mean think about it…Hypothetical incest. Predetermined lust, undeformed children. –Al di La, Park Slope

That’s Because She’s a Cop

Teen girl #1: I have worn this shirt three times in my entire life, and every time I do she wears the exact same one.
Teen girl #2: That’s because she’s a slut. –Poly Prep Country Day School, Bay Ridge Overheard by: Casey Ross

What is Hardcore? (NYC Short Stories)

Girl: Wow, last night I was so drunk. I can’t believe that I got so
wasted off only a pint of gin. In first year I could drink like twice that amount and party all night.
Guy: So you were hardcore then?
Girl: Naw, I wasn’t hardcore, I was just an idiot. –NYU A bus Guy: Have you ever drank the worm?
Girl: Oh, hell yeah. And that’s hardcore ’cause I’m a vegetarian. –McCabe’s Liquor Store, 3rd Avenue

We Hereby Reunite Germany and Japan

Girl #1: She told me she could get wine stains out of the suede…
Girl #2: Wow, did she?
Girl #1: When I came to pick it up there was a big red stain and I said, “What the fuck is this?”–like that–and she just looked at me all dumb.
Girl #2: What, was she Chinese or something?
Girl #1: No, she was normal. –LIRR train Guy: We’re all wearing jeans. We all have black hair.
Chick: We’re all Asian.
Guy: We are? I thought we were just normal? –F train Overheard by: Gretchen Irmiger