Man on bike: I seem [pause] to have misplaced [pause] my fudge. –Central Park Overheard by: Lane & Oliver
Nun: Can you spare some change for St. Patrick’s Orphanage?
Asian girl #1: Sorry
Asian girl #2: Sorry
Nun: Damned chinks are all the same. –American Burger, 32nd & 6th Overheard by: Alex Gray
Teen girl #1: Here comes Peter Cottontail. . .
Teen girl #2: Hopping up the bunny trail!
Teen girl #1: What the hell? It’s down the bunny trail, you idiot!
Teen girl #2: How am I supposed to know? I was MJ’ed when I was younger.
Teen girl #1: MJ’ed?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, you know, Michael Jacksoned…
Teen girl #1: They molested you?!
Teen girl #2: Yes, they molested me and that’s why I don’t know the words to Peter Cottontail… whorebag. –M96 bus Overheard by: TrEeShA
Two tourists spot the people camped out in front of the Mexican Consulate.
Tourist #1: Are all those people trying to get tickets to a concert or something?
Tourist #2: Maybe. Do you think that’s Radio City? –39th & Madison
Girl #1: I hung out with Jeff last night, this guy I just met.
Girl #2: Yeah, did you have sex with him?
Girl #1: NOOO! I just met him, I only gave him a blow job. I know we’ll run into each other again and I didn’t want things to be awkward. –6th & A Overheard by: Kristen May Anastasia
Girl: I’m thinking of an animal that starts with a P.
Girl: No. Wait, are those big smears of blood all over that subway map?
Guy: I think they’re paint.
Girl: They’re totally blood.
Guy: [looks harder] Yeah, you’re totally right… Penguin?
Girl: Nope! –1 train Overheard by: djlindee
Old man: What?
Old lady: [silence]
Old man: What?
Old lady: She said “Reefer,” not “queefer”!
Old man: What’s the difference?
Thug: The smell. –3 train
Girl #1: So I think he died, right there in his place on 96th Street.
Girl #2: How do you know?
Girl #1: We were talking on the phone and then, nothing.
Girl #2: Was it hard for you?
Girl #1: Oh, I don’t care. –F train Overheard by: NJM
Lady: If the doormen went on strike, what would they do?
Guy: They would stand outside their buildings and picket.
Lady: How is that different from their job other then the fact that
they would be holding a sign? –3rd & A
A little boy is eating a chocolate Easter bunny.
Mom: Don’t eat too much of that. You’ll get diarrhea.
Little boy: But I like diarrhea. –4 train Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo